1-SpongeBob: "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready..."
2-SpongeBob: "Hey! That looks like Squidward! *A group of angry 'squids' run by* Hey! That looks like Squidward, in angry mob form!"
3-Plankton: "F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium..bombs! N is for no survival!"
4-SpongeBob: "Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!"
5-Patrick: "Hey, SpongeBob, can I borrow the cheese bucket?"
6-Squidward: "The hash-slinging! The bash-ringing!" SpongeBob: "The hash slinging slasher!"
7-SpongeBob: "Gary, go away, can't you see I'm trying to forget you?"
8-Plankton: "You know what I'd really like for my birthday?" SpongeBob: "A booster seat?" Plankton: "A booster seat, hot dog! I mean, no."
9-SpongeBob: "You don't need a license to drive a sandwich."
10- Squidward: "Move it, Patrick, I'm claustrophobic." Patrick: "What does claustrophobic mean?" SpongeBob: "It means he's afraid of Santa Claus!" Patrick: "Ho, ho, ho!" SpongeBob: "Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!"
11-SpongeBob: "Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets!"
12-SpongeBob: "Worship the magic conch!"
13-SpongeBob: "Why are you mad?" Patrick: "Because I can't see my forehead!"
14-Patrick: "Can you take the crust off my Krabby Patty?"
15-SpongeBob:"I've got the pieces!" Patrick: "I've got the air!" *tries putting balloon back together*
16-SpongeBob *shaped like Texas* "Patrick, what am I?" Patrick: "Uh, stupid?"
17- *SpongeBob starts dancing* Squidward: "That's his...eager face."
18-SpongeBob, singing: "The best time to wear a striped sweater...is all the time!"
19-Patrick *to Mindy*: "Did you see my underwear?" Mindy: "No, Patrick." Patrick: "Did you want to?"
20-Patrick: "Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!"
21: Squidward: "No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument." *Patrick raises his hand again* "No, Patrick, horseradish is not an instrument either."
22: SpongeBob: "Well first, we have to balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads, stand on one foot, and sing the Bikini Bottom Anthem."
23: Patrick + SpongeBob: "Now that we're men, we have facial hair!" Patrick: "Now that we're men, I changed my underwear!"
24: SpongeBob: "But what if I don't have to go the bathroom, Patrick?" Patrick: "There's always a catch!"
25: Mr.Krabs: "Well, it makes you look like a girl!" SpongeBob: "Am I a pretty girl?"
26: Squidward: "Patrick, how stupid are you?" Patrick: "It varies."
27: SpongeBob: "Patrick, why are you here?" Patrick: "Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos."
28: Patrick: "Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems." *jumps inside SpongeBob's mouth.*
29: SpongeBob: "Well, it is no secret that the best thing about secrets is telling someone else your secret, thereby adding another secret to your secret collection of secrets, secretely."
30: Patrick *talking to fire hydrant*: "Are you Squidward?" *long pause* "It's OK, you can take your time."
31: Patrick: "East?! Oh, I thought you said Weest!"
32: Mr. Krabs: "I smell the smelly smell of something that smells... smelly."
33: Plankton: "That's it, mister, you just lost your brain priveleges!"
34: Mr. Krabs: "Hmm, a five-letter word for happiness...money."
35: Random Guy: "It took us THREE DAYS to make that potato salad. THREE DAYS!"
36: SpongeBob *with shoelaces untied* "I'm ready--*falls*--OOF. I'm ready--OOF. I'm ready--OOF."
37: SpongeBob: "This isn't your average everyday darkness. This is...ADVANCED darkness."
38: Patrick: "Sandy's a girl?!"
39: SpongeBob: "Look at all the hip, young people eating sal...ads."
40: Patrick: "I wumbo, you wumbo, he she we wumbo, wumboing, wumbology, the study of wumbo? C'mon, SpongeBob, this is first grade!"
41: *SpongeBob blows elephant-shaped bubble* Patrick: "HAHA! It's a giraffe!"
42: Patrick: *shoots himself with net* "It's not you that's got me...it's me that's got me!"
43:Patrick: "Oh, I wish I had a nose!"
44: Patrick: "Being grown-up is boring. Besides, I don't 'get' jazz."
45: SpongeBob: "You'll never guess what I found in my sock last night. Go ahead, guess!"
46: Patrick: *picks up paper* "Why thank you Sandy. Take patty. Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy this. These are his favorite."
47: Plankton: "That naive cube."
48: Squidward: "Why don't you ask CowBob RanchPants and his friend Sir Eats-a-lot?"
49: Mr. Krabs: *counting* "One, two, blue, applesauce.."
50: SpongeBob: "You know what's funnier than 24? 25!"
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50 Best SpongeBob SquarePants quotes
HumorHilarious things SpongeBob says in his TV show!