1-SpongeBob: "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready..."
2-SpongeBob: "Hey! That looks like Squidward! *A group of angry 'squids' run by* Hey! That looks like Squidward, in angry mob form!"
3-Plankton: "F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium..bombs! N is for no survival!"
4-SpongeBob: "Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!"
5-Patrick: "Hey, SpongeBob, can I borrow the cheese bucket?"
6-Squidward: "The hash-slinging! The bash-ringing!" SpongeBob: "The hash slinging slasher!"
7-SpongeBob: "Gary, go away, can't you see I'm trying to forget you?"
8-Plankton: "You know what I'd really like for my birthday?" SpongeBob: "A booster seat?" Plankton: "A booster seat, hot dog! I mean, no."
9-SpongeBob: "You don't need a license to drive a sandwich."
10- Squidward: "Move it, Patrick, I'm claustrophobic." Patrick: "What does claustrophobic mean?" SpongeBob: "It means he's afraid of Santa Claus!" Patrick: "Ho, ho, ho!" SpongeBob: "Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!"
11-SpongeBob: "Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets!"
12-SpongeBob: "Worship the magic conch!"
13-SpongeBob: "Why are you mad?" Patrick: "Because I can't see my forehead!"
14-Patrick: "Can you take the crust off my Krabby Patty?"
15-SpongeBob:"I've got the pieces!" Patrick: "I've got the air!" *tries putting balloon back together*
16-SpongeBob *shaped like Texas* "Patrick, what am I?" Patrick: "Uh, stupid?"
17- *SpongeBob starts dancing* Squidward: "That's his...eager face."
18-SpongeBob, singing: "The best time to wear a striped sweater...is all the time!"
19-Patrick *to Mindy*: "Did you see my underwear?" Mindy: "No, Patrick." Patrick: "Did you want to?"
20-Patrick: "Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!"
21: Squidward: "No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument." *Patrick raises his hand again* "No, Patrick, horseradish is not an instrument either."
22: SpongeBob: "Well first, we have to balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads, stand on one foot, and sing the Bikini Bottom Anthem."
23: Patrick + SpongeBob: "Now that we're men, we have facial hair!" Patrick: "Now that we're men, I changed my underwear!"
24: SpongeBob: "But what if I don't have to go the bathroom, Patrick?" Patrick: "There's always a catch!"
25: Mr.Krabs: "Well, it makes you look like a girl!" SpongeBob: "Am I a pretty girl?"
26: Squidward: "Patrick, how stupid are you?" Patrick: "It varies."
27: SpongeBob: "Patrick, why are you here?" Patrick: "Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos."
28: Patrick: "Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems." *jumps inside SpongeBob's mouth.*
29: SpongeBob: "Well, it is no secret that the best thing about secrets is telling someone else your secret, thereby adding another secret to your secret collection of secrets, secretely."
30: Patrick *talking to fire hydrant*: "Are you Squidward?" *long pause* "It's OK, you can take your time."