I still smile when you call.
I still feel my face turn red
When we talk on the phone.
I still over think when I'm near you.
I still get nervous when I see you.
I still feel my heart race
Every time I see your face.
I still jump whenever you text me.
I still feel my heart skip
When I see that call.
I still hang on every word
When we speak together.
I still think of you
From time to time at random.
I still look at your picture from
When I took you to my homecoming.
And yet I'm being still.
I'm not making any moves.
I'm watching you go further away.
I'm sitting on the sidelines.
I'm watching as if it's a film
Unfolding before me
And watching you with him.
Watching you be happy.
And there's nothing I can do.
I shot my bullet and missed.
And settled for what you want me as:
A brother.
And so I see you happier
With a former simenarian.
He's full of God and grace and love.
He's better.
I know he is.
He's good for you
And better than all the other guys
That you had chased in your past.
And yet...
I'm being still.
I'm being one with myself
And enjoying the moment.
And I can't do anything
About you wanting him.
Because I've learned
To be still.
And in doing so
I let you go in a sense.
As it should be now
So you shall be happy.
I wasted my time
Pushing what my heart wanted off.
Saying I need a car to date you.
Saying I need a job to date you.
I wasted my time
Chasing women that I
Meant nothing to
And deceiving myself.
But I'm happy
When you are happy.
And I could not ask
For anything more than to still be a friend.
