Depression

I haven't really had depression for that long, or at least it hasn't affected me at all until recently. I found out I had it a few months ago and at the time, it didn't seem like much, I was still the same. As I went along it started getting more obvious, I started..... feeling it. I realized how much I didn't enjoy life, how much I just didn't want to be here anymore.

As a warning to whoever keeps reading, this is gonna get to deep stuff that I've only told a few of my closest friends.

I slowly started telling some of my close friends that I just didn't want to be alive anymore, they showed just how much they cared for me by saying how broken they would be if I died. That kept me from going. Later I felt it again, but I didn't say anything. Then I felt it again.... and didn't say anything. I kept feeling it over and over but I just bottled it up. But then I broke. I couldn't hold it back anymore, my dam had held the weight of an entire ocean and couldn't hold it anymore. Everything came flooding out, fears, hopes, dreams, every single emotion that I had ever felt came crashing out. It took quite a while of crying and consoling from people to get me back, but not everything had come out. Slowly through the week I would let out bits to the people I cared about and they would reassure me, but the whole time I felt like I shouldn't be doing this because the people I were talking to had felt worse, I didn't deserve to cry, I hadn't faced enough bad to be doing this. They told me otherwise and I thanked them.... but I didn't believe it, there was no way I could be breaking down like this when they had been to the brink of suicide when I was too much of a pussy to even attempt it. They had felt real pain, I had only felt a paper cut in comparison. But I started to gain hope, I started dating the best girl ever and I discovered just how much the other best person ever cared for me, I had meaning. I don't know where the story goes from here, because this was all in the last week. Only about 3 people know that any of this happened, and they know all the little details, they know me now better than I know me. So even though this isn't some Charles Dickens professional story, this is just a kid who barely passes in ELA, so sorry for any grammar errors or for the short story but....... Welcome to my life, I'm Eric, nice to meet you.