Unreal, Not Real. - Kiribaku fic

'Shitty hair' it is.

Note: Hey! Just a quick disclaimer: while they still have quirks and everything, this is still an AU, so a bunch of things are not gonna be anything similar to canon. Alright, carry on!
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Saturday should've gone by without incident. It wasn't until Sunday that things were supposed to start going downhill.

However, Kirishima thought it would be a good idea to come up with some sort of backstory.

"Why are we doing this again?" Bakugou asked, agitated that his friend decided to come over at 9 in the fucking morning. Did this kid sleep or...?

"Because, knowing Akiyama she's gonna ask questions. If we're gonna seem like a real couple we need to have some details planned out ahead of time."

Bakugou let out a loud sigh. A month of no chores better be fucking worth all of this. "Fine, what kind of details?"

"Like how we met, pet names, inside jokes-"

"Inside jokes?" Bakugou questioned, why where those necessary?

"Yeah of course dude! What kind of couple doesn't have inside jokes?"

Bakugou was silent, but he guess Kirishima had a point. While a total dumbass, he definitely knew more about relationships than Bakugou did.

"Um, what else," Kirishima thought. "Oh! How about our first date? Like what'd we do, what it was like, stuff like that."

Bakugou was still very lost, he didn't know anything about this shit. Why couldn't Kirishima just do this on his own? "Why can't you just do this on your own?"

"Cause I thought that you should have a say in this too, I mean, we are a couple after all."

"Fake couple," Bakugou corrected.

"Well yeah, obviously. Anyways, what are some pet names you'd call me if we were in a relationship?"

Bakugou thought for a minute, and then he came up with the perfect name. "Shitty hair," he said with a confident grin.

"Pfft no," Kirishima laughed. "Like real pet names, ones that are cute and endearing."

Bakugou let out a short 'ha' in response. "Dumbass, do you even know me? I don't do cute and endearing."

"Fair enough. 'Shitty hair' it is," Kirishima complied with a smile on his face, speaking of endearing. "How about how we met? Like where were we, when was it? Was it love at first sight, or were we friends first?"

Bakugou had many protests about this. He had never been in a relationship. He wasn't really good with "feelings," and besides, it's not like any of these UA idiots were good enough for him anyways. So in the field of relationships, Bakugou was far from an expert. He didn't want to seem clueless or anything, but, "Why don't you come up with this one?"

"Alright," Kirishima said, gears already turning in his head. "How about...we can say that we met at the hero course entrance exam." Kirishima paused, his face wasn't quite contemplation, no, it was something else. Bakugou couldn't put his finger on it though. "I fell for you first," Kirishima bluntly stated as he briefly made eye contact with Bakugou. "Yeah, we were in the same group for the practical. I saw you absolutely creaming all of those robots, and it was just so cool and manly, I wanted to be like you, to be with you too."

The thing was, Kirishima wasn't entirely lying. They did meet at the entrance exam, and they were at the same practical. Kirishima was just adding a romantic twist to make it seem more like a love story, Bakugou supposed. Also, he wasn't totally sure, but was Kirishima blushing? It might've just been the light or something, so he brushed it off and continued to listen to Kirishima's story.

"So, I came up to you after the test to talk to you, to ask you how the hell you were so talented. You weren't modest at all," Kirishima fondly laughed. "But you offered for me to spar against you at some point, cause you saw me too, you saw my quirk and figured that I'd 'be a good punching bag or something.'"

That was all still true. When Bakugou first met Kirishima, he was impressed by his ability to fight, he probably would be able to hold his own against Bakugou's strength (at least that's what Bakugou told himself), so yeah, he offered Kirishima a sparring session.

"I said yes, and we exchanged numbers. We happened to live not even 15 minutes away from each other, we even went to the same gym, just on different days, must've been fate. Anyways I texted you to see if you wanted to spar at the gym, and we met up later that day. I remember you wore a tank top that showed off your arms, and I found it was really hot, I had trouble focusing on anything else." Kirishima sighed, almost as if relishing in the memory. He then shook away the thought and continued. "Anyways, we were sparring, and you were absolutely kicking my ass."

Everything up until this point generally matched how he and Kirishima actually met. It was pretty smart to stick to the truth as much as possible, Bakugou supposed, the more elaborate a lie the harder it would be to stick to it.

"Then at some point you ended up tackling me," Kirishima looked away, suddenly finding anything but Bakugou extremely interesting.

Bakugou began to feel a small blush form on his face, he remembered this part too, and boy was it fucking awkward.

"You were right on top of me," Kirishima continued. "Our faces were so close, and it would've been so easy to kiss you."

Bakugou remembered the look on Kirishima's face when this happened, he was so flustered, so surprised. He guess Kirishima was right, their faces were really fucking close, and if they wanted to they could've kissed, but they didn't, Bakugou couldn't let that happen.

"So I did," Bakugou looked up at the sudden shift in the story, from a somewhat truth, to complete fiction. "We kissed, and it was the best damn make out session I've ever had." Kirishima laughed, almost playing it off as a joke, because something like that happening was just so absurd. However, something about him looked a little sad, disappointed even, but Bakugou couldn't tell for sure. "And we've been dating ever since."

The room was quiet for a minute. You could hear a pin drop as neither of the boys dared to speak as they reflected on this love story Kirishima just created.

"So," Kirishima said, shattering the fragile silence. "What'd ya think?"

"Fuck..." Bakugou was at a loss for words. That was fucking amazing, but he couldn't let Kirishima know that. "That was pretty goddamn cheesy."

"So does that work?" Kirishima asked, ignoring Bakugou's previous comment.

Bakugou rolled his eyes nonchalantly, "I guess. What's next?"

"Uhh, how about our-" Kirishima was interrupted by his phone, someone was calling him. "One sec, sorry, Akiyama is calling," Kirishima picked up the phone. "Hello?"

Now Bakugou didn't know what this chick was saying, but all he knew was that he saw Kirishima's face go pale. Wide-eyed, he hung up the phone.

"Bakugou," Kirishima said, he looked scared. "She's here."
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Notes:

Uh-oh, Akiyama's here a day early??? What's gonna happen next?

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Today's HC:
Kirishima is 110% a dog person. He's the type of person who'd scream "GOOD DOGGO" at literally any dog. However, Bakugou is lowkey (very lowkey) scared of dogs, bc when he was a kid there was this vicious dog that lived in his neighborhood and always scared him. Only Kirishima knows about it, but he knows way better than to make fun of Bakugou for it.
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Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, sorry about leaving it on a cliffhanger like that but I couldn't resist >:)

Have a nice week and talk to yall next chapter

- Emily :)