Monster

Friends?

"Sorry..." I spoke up again "I'm sorry."

And that's when she opened her eyes looking at me directly and I had this sudden urge to pull back away completely. Not to look in her eyes, those eyes who cried a lot because of me. I gulped and looked back at her, our eyes met and I lowered my gaze the very next second when I saw she's watching me.

"I... I'm sorry, didn't wanted to touch you without your permission but I couldn't resist. I just... I wanted to apologise." I started stammering and tried to talk normal but my voice came out so light.

She was still there looking at me but she was sitting now. I looked down at my leg which was wrapped up in a cast and winced.

"Saba, it hurts." it came out of my mouth unintentionally.

I don't want you to worry more.

But the pain was unbearable.

"It's okay, doctor said you'll be fine. Where does it hurt? Should I call the doctor?" She immediately, her facial expressions tensed up.

It hurts a lot. In my heart. It's hurting a lot.

Shehry just say that to her. She needs to know you're guilty.

"It hurts here." i pointed at my heart with a slightly shivering hand, the one with canola on it. "Alot." I completed and couldn't bear any further. My eyes moistened and a tear left my eye.

That's not because of the pain Saba, that's for hurting you.

"To be honest Shehryaar, it does. But you'll be fine, it'll be fine. Don't let ammi's death effect you this much, that you risk your life." she said lightly."

Please forgive me Saba.

I need you. Please.

"Sorry Saba, I disturb you a lot." I said.  I wanted to apologise to her

"It's okay."

"No it's not." I hurriedly said and dared myself to hold her hand. I extended my hand to hold hers which she placed them on the frame of the bed where she was resting her head minutes before whole sleeping.

I need your comfort Saba.

"It's not." I whispered.

It's really not. It's wrong. Completely wrong.

"Please let me." i said and she gulped visibly and looked away a bit but still allowed me to hold it.

I sandwiched her hand in mines and then carefully brought it closer to my heart with one hand. She was uncomfortable, I could sense it but I couldn't let her go too. She looked at me.

"Saba?"

"Hmm?"

"I miss ammi."

"Me too. A lot."

"Saba?"

"Hmm?"

"I missed you too."

She at once looked at me with slight wide and narrow eyes, making sure if she heard it right.

"Yes, you heard it right. I missed you. I miss you." I said and felt my heart heavy and swelled up.

Saba didn't respond anything but just bit lip and then rolled it in between her teeth.

"Saba?" I called her again, afraid of her silence.

She didn't reply with a 'hmm' now instead turn towards me to look again.