PAPER FLOWERS ( k. bakugou )

chapter 21

‘ blue letters unsent ’

━━━━━

Cream paper feels soft on her fingertips, smells nice and it reminds her of the scent of the porch in summer with the wild berries blooming nearby. The comfortable cushioned seats and a hammock, overhead the featherlike cirrus clouds and the azure sky.

His handwriting— the slightly crooked, perfectly punctuated reminiscent of Cambria— occupies the entire page and she tries so hard to keep the tears from falling 'cause it's the words that hold more power than the bullet wounds.

Kai, it says at first, no traces of Dear or Beloved and it makes this small smile embrace her lips. Kaede is not dear or beloved or anything of the matter. She's an unapologetic fiend that's perfectly fine with herself. And Kai sounds perfectly fine with herself.

My heartfelt greetings although I imagine you loath to reciprocate with the same. It's Tomoe through and through. Our story is one of buts and maybes, and I know you're aware of your side of the story, but maybe it's time to tell you mine. And it's a matter of reminiscing the things they did when they were children.

Tomoe touring her through the vast compounds, pointing the boring parts of the place and Kaede, a girl who was more resentful than thankful for what he was doing. Tomoe pointing at the stars and telling her stories, myths of the people that had their names on them, the asterisms and the constellations, because that was what fueled her to love those brilliant space rocks.

I know you loved the stars more than I did (you're probably going to vehemently deny this) and it makes me so happy that I could make you smile for once. You probably didn't see it back then. The first time I took you around the compound, with that perpetual frown on your face and your aura emanating resentment. You smiled that day, when I pointed at the stars and told you, the sun is a star and you looked at me with eyebrows furrowed, told me that I was so stupid, that you may be merely ten years of age, one hundred and twenty months old, but you weren't stupid enough to believe. Believe me.

And I told you all the details, about how the sun was also a star and when you started to believe, looked down on that slightly damp patch of grass, I saw you frown, as if defeated by me and I put a hand on your shoulder. I told you I was lying, that the sun is not a star and you smiled, and it was beautiful, and terrifying at the same time.

Kai, your desire for victory frightened mo so much, you looked at the world as if there was nothing in it than wrongs needed to be turned right, no more than bleeding and making others bleed, painting right all over— your version of right, and I tried to stay away, but I came back every evening, told you stories about the stars, visited forbidden parts of the compounds and I was equal parts relieved and apprehensive that you weren't smiling anymore.

You looked at the world as if it was just in primary colors, of red, blue and yellow. Red for blood, blue for your feelings, and yellow for the sunshine you were so terrified of.

Then you pushed me away, so faraway that I lashed at you and told you all those horrible things, and I could never take them back, because it was true. I just omitted the part where I was terribly frightened of you, for what you could become.

I heard them talking Kai, in low murmurs on the corridors, over at coffee partnered with sweets I always found distasteful, how Kohaku and the other fanatics were overcame with joy.