An Unplanned Gift

6| They deserve to live

Depression and Anxiety aren't exactly what people stereotype it as.

No having depression doesn't mean a person is always sad.

No having Anxiety doesn't mean paranoia is the only thing in that person's mind.

It is much like a time bomb...

Burst of irrational emotions with episodes for a bit of time....

The only problem is.... you would never know when this episodes will happen...

Whether in the middle of class, half way through laughter or when you did an accomplishment.

It's just nothing you can predict

Doesn't mean they can't be triggered though.....

___

"Ya'know they deserve the truth" Stretch hummed voice slightly hesitant as Sans only shrugged in response as he shake his head.

"Yeah but their relationship is just gonna get mess up cause of me and I know as hell that you would do anything to keep Blue happy" Sans said giving Stretch a side glance.

Stretch never said anything else he knows it's true anyways. Sans pregnancy if known by them will seriously back fire.

He lightly chuckled at all the irony

It's funny how people always say 'I would rather be hurt by the truth than be comforted by a lie' time and time again but do they even know the suffering the bearer kept just for the sake of their happiness?

As Stretch look at the skeleton in front him all he sees are shackles... ones that he will gladly carry for others... and as much as he wanted to help....

He knows as well that it is something he cannot simply do...

___

Sans look at himself in the mirror sighing. The sweater that Papyrus lend him was bigger than him even though it was one of Papyrus older clothing, he folded the sleeves so he can at least still hold things but still.

The sweater was loose stopping just above his knees while the neckline was showing a lot of his ribcage probably because it was suppose to be for a taller figure.

"You look tiny in that thing" Stretch said entering the room as Sans snorted.

"No shit, Sherlock"

"Here" Stretch said handing him a familiar red bandanna before sitting on the bed of the guest room, it was the same one that Papyrus use to build that snow statue of himself back when they were in the underground.

"Thanks" Sans grinned taking the scarf from the other's hand before wrapping it loosely around him.

He once again look in the mirror grinning, the scarf cover up his expose sternum and it would even probably be considered as a wear for an outing if not for the over sized sweater that makes it look more like a comfy at home clothing.

There was a comfortable silence between them as Sans just look down at his phone still standing in front of the mirror.

"Are you still thinking about.... abortion?"

Sans stop still, his shoulders slack as the eye lights in his eye sockets disappeared leaving only empty darkness. He snap his neck towards Stretch a bewildered look in his eyes.

"How did y-"

"I borrowed your phone last night remember?" Stretch simply stated his voice flat "...when I was searching something up a search history of yours pop up and..."

Of course

Sans just sighed as he walk towards the bed where Stretch sat.

"...Are you angry?..." he croaks out as he look down on the ground with great interest.

"..."

Silence was his only answer and stars, was it suffocating. It was as though he forgot to breath for a second as misery is the only thing in the air.

"I... I'm not..." Stretch finally answered averting his eyes away from Sans "It's just that.... I'm... disappointed..."

Sans said nothing in return as his  hands fidgeted. He look up at the other noticing the hesitance in their face and the look of regret on their features from either ever broughting it up or something else.

"You just told me and 'Rus that we're going to be uncles... like shit Sans we were actually happy..." Stretch breath out and from where Sans stand he swear he saw the other shakingly grip the sheets under their hands.

Stretch sighed looking at him with sorrowful eyes "Look... I know that they aren't planned but stars be damned, you know yourself that they have the right to live..."

Sans just stayed silent, his mind was blank not being able to think properly on what he should do but a whisper made it out of his mouth saying little words that can't be anything more but true.

"I know.... I'm just not ready..."

___

Sans slumped on his bed face press against his pillow while he breath heavily into it.

He was finally back to his house but that conversation with Stretch was still in his mind like some sort of broken record leaving him silent all the way through the ride home, whether Blue notice it or not, he just stayed silent and leave Sans be.

Really, he was thinking of abortion back then before he even told anyone but considering his low hp he was searching up about it on google...

Though... it was selfish of him to think of such thing in the first place... he just can't... he just can't live through this truth that he wanted so badly to not be true in the first place.

He just laid there on his bed, body limp. His mind was racing into different excuses and possibilities on why he was even searching such inhumane thing up but all of the excuses in his head are just one way or the other selfish...

They were nothing but S E L F I S H

He felt a small soothing wave coming from his stomach making him sit up and lift up his shirt to show his the SOULs, they were buzzing and sending vibrations in his brain to calm down....

Coughs were releasing from his mouth but they were more fainter until they rise and turned into hysterical laughter. He guess anyone can laugh while crying cause before he knew it tears were slowly streaming from his eyes and droping on his shirt.

Stars, his a horrible person

As though their was a lump on his non-existent throat his laughter died down to uneven sobbing. He turned to his side as he hug a pillow on where he rest his face, his tears being soak up into the fabric sheets.

Why the hell was he even crying?

Was it pity for himself? anxiety? Or rather was it his mind just breaking at the harsh truths being slap onto his face?....

Either way, Sans found it pathetic.... he found himself pathetic... for crying over such small things...

He heard a muffled scream of sorts one just by and it was in a way horrifying as though the person screaming was afraid and distress.

Sans was about to move and check where it was coming from and how it horrifyingly sound so close.

But he stop realizing that.... he was the one screaming

He was sure he was the one screaming from how he kept hearing soft muffled sounds just by and how his non-existent throat felt like, he just don't know when..... he just felt it much like the fast beating of his SOUL, it was uneven and uncontrollable.

Once his screaming died down his chest was heaving as Sans just cuddled closer to the pillow he wrap his hands around in.

And as he close his eyes, his consciousness slowly diminishing leaving only one thought behind before he was consumed by darkness....

'Never waking up is not so bad....'
___

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