DO WANT TO BUILD A LAUGH MAN

Insults

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you're just an ass.

I've heard smarter things from a schizophrenic with Tourette's.

I don't argue with idiots, they will just lower me to their level then beat me with experience.

Wow, you're even dumber than you look.

It's pointless to make fun of you because it will take you the rest of the day to figure it out.

I'm condescending? Do you even know what that means?

(If they are taking a while to think about something) I can almost hear the gears grinding inside your head.

Think before you talk. Do you even listen to the things that come out of your mouth?

How long did it take you to come up with that one?

I bet you were up all night trying to come up that one.

Were you held back a grade? Two?

What kind of car do you drive, a short bus?

THE SHORT BUS HAS ARRIVED! Where's your helmet?

It's scary to think that people like you are allowed to vote.

It's scary to think that people like you are allowed to breed.

It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.

You act as though your stupidity is a virtue.

[Repeat anything they say with your best stupid voice.]

"HURR DURRRRRR" in your best stupid voice. For added effect, do something spastic with your arms.