Violets All Around Me

Sleeping Beauty

JoLynn. Light of my life, fire of my loins, the air that I breathe, the burning passion inside my heart... asleep. Dead. A heroin overdose. Aspiration. She was a strong woman, grew up with an abusive father and mother dead from childbirth. She was smart, top of her class... and God help me, was she beautiful. I admire her from inside of her casket. Long, brown, hair, and the longest silkiest lashes. My heart melted each time she would bat those beautiful monstrosities. Her shape that of an hourglass. The most soft, feminine, angelic voice. I run the back of my knuckle along her soft,pale cheek that used look so alive and flushed as a tear falls down mine. And another, and another. JoLynn was loved by everyone she encountered, she was beautiful, kind-hearted, could light up your afternoons with her smile. 6 years of my life spent with that angelic woman. All that comes across my mind as I stare down at her blank face in the casket are memories. In the moment, making memories seems all fun and games, until you realize that once those times are over... the memories, they have the power to kill you. One that specifically keeps replaying in my head is from a day we adventured to the park. Picnic basket in the tall green grass.. JoLynn spinning around in her yellow and white checkered dress that I loved so much. It looks as if it's flashing across my mind in slow motion..too slowly...it's almost melancholic. I flash back to reality, and walk away from the casket while the ceremony continues. I walk 5 miles to the nearest liquor store and pick up a bottle of jack, walking out of the store without paying. As soon as I reach the cemetery once again, I gulp down the last bit of liquor left in the bottle. Slowly, I kneel down and curl up next to her gravestone.. knowing what horrendous scream is about to come from my mouth I clench my thick jacket in between my teeth and scream in agony, as loud as my lungs would let me... all I can remember next is falling asleep with tears abruptly streaming down my face.
.....

When I open my eyes, the first thing I am greeted by is JoLynn's gravestone. I gently run my fingertips across her name engraved into the stone. I look over to my left only to see a pile of my vomit sprawled across the grass.my hand glides down my jeans and I  take my phone out of my pocket to call a taxi.