Is this love real? (POKEMON) Gold x Silver

Is this love real? (POKEMON) Gold x Silver - 1

Gold's P.O.V

I loved Silver more than anything in the world. The way he couldn't take a compliment. How he would freak out if he found a spider in his room- even a dead one. The way he tried so hard to hide his blushes. The way he would scoff at charity adverts and then donate a whole fifty when they came round the doors at Christmas. How he had to have everything in his apartment positioned just perfectly. I loved everything about him.

But recently, I'd been finding it very hard to like him.

I confessed my feelings to him over a year ago, and though he didn't reject me, nothing much had changed. I suppose, from a direct point of view, you could say we were in a relationship. I spent a lot of time at his apartment (though he never acted pleased to see me when I turned up at his door), and, sometimes, occasionally, he would let me kiss him. But that was as far as it went. Though I would kiss him, he would never kiss me back. I would say 'I love you', but not once would he ever say 'I love you too'.

Sometimes I wished I'd never made that stupid first move. It was nearly two years ago- I was only fifteen- and I had kissed Silver on New Year's Day. I'd regretted it immediately and tried to keep my distance, but Silver had hunted me down and knocked some sense into me anyway. I had told him I loved him, and he had let me kiss him. I had hoped things would only go uphill from there, but with Silver things were never that easy.

Things had grown increasingly awkward between us. We couldn't do things together as friends any more, not like we used to. Two years ago I could drag myself over to Silver's apartment whenever I got sick of Mom's constant nagging, and we could fall asleep leaning against each other, and walk around in just our boxers after having a shower without somebody telling us off. Now we couldn't do any of that without Silver turning crimson in the face and snapping at me.

Because to Silver, I was two people. Ever since that day, it was like I had been split in two. I was his best friend. And I was also just some guy who fancied a piece of him. I used to be the only person he would let his guard down for. But now he only strengthened his shield when around me. We were like sex friends, without the sex and barely even the 'friends' part a lot of the time.

I suppose I had expected things to change more. I had imagined Silver showing affection for me. I had imagined being able to tell everyone I was his boyfriend. I had imagined dates. But it hadn't been like that. But despite the barrier I could sense around him, Silver treated me more or less the same as he did when he was blissfully unaware of my feelings for him. I couldn't understand it. I knew Silver wasn't the sort of person to let someone kiss him if he didn't want it, but it still didn't feel right. It didn't feel like he loved me.

Right now he was sat on the floor of his living room in front of his grey, lumpy sofa. He was playing Mario Kart on his old N64 and swearing at the screen as his character got hit by a flying object. I knelt behind him, brushed back his long red hair and planted a kiss on the back of his neck. A horrible scream emitted from the television as Silver accidentally drove Toad off a cliff.

"What are you doing?" he snapped, swatting me away.

I sighed and sat down properly, facing Silver's back. He was so much taller than me. The logical part of my brain told me that my masculinity should be just a little wounded at the fact that I was only five-foot-five-inches tall, but in truth I sort of liked having to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him.

I brushed his hair back with my hands and started winding it into a braid. Silver grumbled but didn't shake himself away. I wasn't sure whether it was because he liked me fussing over him or because he was too focused on maneuvering Toad through Yoshi Valley. I liked to think it was the first one. But it was probably the second.

I finished braiding his hair and admired my work before brushing it out with my fingers. His hair was almost back to it's natural color now. A month ago he had tried to dye it brown, but it had clashed with his ginger hair and made it turn a sort of purple color. He had locked himself in his bathroom and refused to come out. It took me three hours to convince him that nobody would laugh at him. But he just looked so funny stood there in the doorway with his purply-red hair and pout and blush that I burst into giggles right away. He had slammed the door in my face there and then, and spent the night in the bathroom.

I leaned forward against him, my cheeks pressed against his back. He didn't push me away and I smiled half-heartedly. It seemed he was in one of his better moods. Most of the time he would have sent me flying.

A wail of anguish came from the TV screen.

"You made me lose, idiot," Silver muttered, reaching out and turning his N64 off with his bare foot.

"You need to cut your toenails," I pointed out.

"It's creepy that you would even notice that."

I smiled. I couldn't help it. I noticed everything about him. Not many people would say Silver was attractive, but I couldn't help but think otherwise. I liked how he kept his hair long specifically to hide the back of his neck. I liked his cool grey eyes. I liked his hands, and how his knuckles were large and pronounced in comparison to his thin fingers. I liked how his nose curved over instead of under. What was that called? A Roman nose? Silver didn't like it in any case. I once spied him holding his hair back in front of the mirror, struggling to look at his face in profile. He measured the length and width of his nose with his fingertips and raised his hand to look, frowning. I hadn't dared question Silver about it personally, so I asked Blue. She had laughed and laughed.

"Well, his nose is kind of big for his face, right?" she had said. It was okay for her to say that- she had known Silver for a long time. Besides, he called her worse things. It wasn't like they meant any of it.

I thought it was cute that Silver was a bit insecure about it. He would blush so deeply when I kissed the tip of his nose. That was another thing I liked about him. He was so bashful, and got embarrassed so easily. And he would cover it up by mouthing off.

"What time is it?" Silver asked, getting up. I got up too.

"Quarter past eleven. You've been on that thing for three hours, you know," I told him.

"And you've been in my apartment for ten hours, moron."

I faked a pout. "Let me stay," I said.

He turned and headed for the kitchen. "Whatever," I heard him say as he flicked the kettle on. He would always drink 'girly' flavored tea before going to bed. He blamed it on Blue, and told me that if I dared tell anyone he'd kill me. He didn't want anyone to know he did such a 'girly' thing.

I flopped down on the sofa, picked up an out of date TV guide and started flipping through it absent-mindedly. Two minutes later Silver emerged from the kitchen with a mug. He took a sip of his tea.

"You're sleeping on the couch," he said. I almost asked if I could sleep with him, in his bed, side by side. That would have been Christmas come early. But I didn't. I stayed on the sofa like he wanted me to. I had promised Silver when this whole mess began that I wouldn't rush him. I was willing to wait for as long as it took for him to take the next small step.

But that was the problem. I was willing. But I wasn't sure I was able.

Before Silver headed off to his room, I stopped him. I took his hand in mine and pulled him back. When he turned to face me I raised my free hand to brush against his cheek. His Adam's apple dipped for a second as he swallowed. I leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips. He pushed me away with a gasp and looked away, unable to meet my eyes.

My chest started hurting. "I love you," I whispered.

There was a long pause. Then, slowly, Silver nodded. "Okay," he said hoarsely, and walked out of the room.