A fake smile is all it takes

In this "book" I talk about what I go through or have gone through. I hope this will help other connect/relate so that you know, you're not alone. If you need someone to talk to, my social media: (DMs are always open)

Snapchat: xxxjorgixxx (Sometimes go

Instagram: _.Stewpido._

Twitter: iijorgi_ (I don't go as often but just say if you would prefer to talk on twitter)

Roblox: JustAGirlNamedJorgi

If you need professional help

Australian Help Line: 1800 55 1800

American Help Line: 1-800-273-8255

Canada Help Line: 1-866-APPELLE (From what I have researched)

If you live somewhere and don't know the helpline comment and I'll look for it.

Anxiety

Anxiety, one of the things I deal with. I overthink just about everything and always look on the negative side. I guess you could say I'm a pessimist. I'm probably the biggest pessimist I know. Anxiety is always there, every single step of the way.

"Maybe he'll like me better in this dress?"

Anxiety always has something to say, it's never positive though.

"Pfft, he'll probably think you're a slut in that dress" 

So as weak as I am, I listen to what anxiety says. I try on another outfit.

"A casual yet elegant dress should do it"

Once again anxiety can't keep its mouth shut.

"He's going to think you take dinners too seriously"

"Okay look. Can I make my own decisions without you always having to say something negative about it?!"

"Well I mean you don't have to listen to what I say but you still do and anyway, you're helpless without my advice"

"You're right..." But it's not helping the fact that I'm still deciding what I should wear, how should I act, should I even go?

"If you don't, he's going to think you ditched him and he's not going to wanna see you again"

"Oh my goodness you're right" He's going to think that I'm a quitter, that I'm not worth his time and what am I gonna do when I have to face him at scho-

"WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE! HURRY AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON"

I quickly chuck on a fancy blouse and jeans. Bolt through the door, get in the car, start the engine and start driving to the diner. Just stay calm, if he does like me...he would accept me for who I am...right?

"He'll probably act like he cares about you but what if he just does it to keep you happy?" 

Once again I am agreeing with the theory that anxiety has come up with and mine doesn't get a say, does it? I guess everything goes how anxiety says.

Self-harm

2 days, 5 days, 9 days, 2 weeks clean...I made it this far. I can make it a few more days can't I? 

{{{If you want to see the next chapter just say so in the comments. Remember I'm always here  if you need someone to talk to.}}}