Monster

Ch.15 - Guilt Ridden.

"Wife." only that word came out of my mouth and she took hold of my hand.

"You have to come with me." the nurse said and I nodded dumbfounded.

"But what happened?" I asked the nurse who took me to a separate hygiene room near the operation theatre, the pungent smell of lab medicines was there, spread all over.

The nurse made me wear gloves and a mask to cover my mouth with a hospital gown used by doctors or attendants at times. She didn't replied to my question either, just silently did her work.

"Look, you're his wife. His blood pressure is not calming down which is not right when we have given him anesthesia. Try to calm him down please. The operation's over so you don't have to worry about that."

I silently nodded.

The nurse grabbed my hand again and took me where Shehryaar was, and there he was, lying all pale with I don't even know how many machines attached to him, giving a beep sound indicating his heart beat. I silently went towards him without any exchange of words with the nurse.

"I'll leave you here, anything happens, press this button. I'll be here. You try to calm him down." the nurse left and I looked around, that's when I saw another nurse there, doing stuff with the syringes. I took off my mask and almost threw it on the floor.

My gaze travelled back to Shehryaar and it felt like my heart is bleeding. I felt my hand moving towards his, taking the right one in mine. I just couldn't help staring at his hand in my hands quietly. Nothing was going in my mind, it was numb.

I wasn't able to comprehend anything on how to calm his blood pressure down. I didn't knew what I'm supposed to be. I just silently looked at his hand when a tear, out of nowhere, without my permission, without my plan fell on his hand.

I rubbed the area with my thumb very carefully as he might break if I do it with a little more pressure. Cleaning the tear away I didn't wanted to stop rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb. I silently kept doing it without looking at his face, just looking at his one specific hand.

"Please don't leave me... I'm all alone." a silent whisper came out my mouth, not even clear enough for someone to guess what I was saying. I didn't realise the nurse was now on the other side of Shehryaar where I was sitting, checking what results the machines are giving.

"Hey girl, continue what you're doing, his blood pressure is going down to normal." the nurse said with amusement and with wide eyes I looked at his hand again.

My gaze then travelled to his face and I started rubbing my thumb again at the back of his hand.

"Shehryaar?" I said lightly. No reply came.

"Shehryaar please come back. Wake up please. Please be fine." I said again in a light tone but no reply came. The rubbing of thumb was continuous when eventually my body almost jerked his hand away. I don't know if I felt disappointed or what.

What I did wasn't making me take my move back and hold his hand, gently.

I looked at his face with fear spread all over.

Fear of losing someone, again.

I tried to run out of there, go away from here when I felt Shehryaar said something. I couldn't hear it properly but the sound was echoed. The voice felt tuned.

"Saba?"

I heard again but this time is was clear and looked back at Shehryaar's face. His facial expressions were still the same, blank, all pale.

He didn't say anything then why am I hearing him? Of course this can't be real!

Why am I hearing him!?