I pull the headphones from my ears as the truck pulls into a parking spot. I look out the front windshield at the brick building that I've begun to despise. As I wrap the headphones around my MP3 player the tortuous two hour drive I just endured begins to make a lot more sense. It's this damn office that I've been to entirely too many times in the past two years. Each time we pull into this god forsaken driveway, the situation becomes more and more hopeless. I can only pray this will come to an end soon.
I mentally slap myself as soon as the thought appears, knowing that I should be praying that we come out on the right side of this. At least that's what everyone keeps telling me. "This is the man who raised you after all. At least give him the benefit of the doubt." My bitchy subconscious reminds me. The longer I stay in that house the more and more my sister subconscious begins to sound like Nanny.
"You girls stay here. We will be back shortly." Nanny demand stepping out the the passenger side, as pawpaw and daddy get out of the driver side. As soon as the doors shut and I am one hundred percent sure they can't hear me, I turn to Tori hoping to pull out the information I know she has.
"What do you think the lawyer needs to talk to them about this time? It's got to be pretty serious since they're making us sit in the truck instead of going in this time." I nosely push my older sister after pulling her earbud out of the ear closest to me. I take a drink of my Dr. Pepper trying to make it seem as if I'm just trying to make conversation. I'm well aware she won't give me all the details because she never does. She still believes I'm a baby that needs to be protected, but I'm hoping that she'll give me enough to price it together on the ride home.
"I don't know." Liar. "Hopefully they finally got her to admit that she's been lying and forcing them to go along with it." She barks, replacing her earbud before I have time to respond and continuing to stare out the window as if there is something interesting about a busy downtown street at ten in the morning. I roll my eyes at her and the way she says "them." As if this is anymore their fault than it is ours. I know I won't be getting any information from her yet. I'll have to wait until I get home and can slide it into a conversation we are having.
I don't know why she doesn't just tell me. She knows I'll drag it out of her eventually, so long as I promise not to let nanny know. Nanny always confides in her because she is older and she believes I'm not old enough or mature enough to be able to comprehend what is happening around me. There's a reason I'm able to keep straight A's despite this shit. Of course it's because I'm smart but also because I have the ability to kiss ass and manipulate everyone into getting what I want. Everyone except Nanny.
That lady hates me just for existing. I'm convinced that if I were on fire she wouldn't so much as spit on me to attempt to put it out. My thoughts are interrupted by the grey haired demon herself angrily yanking the passenger door open and slamming it shut behind her. I look up to see her attempting to wipe the tears from under her eyes as fresh ones fall. I can already tell it's going to be a long car ride home and an even longer week attempting to dodge her anger.
The air seems to grow ten times thicker as daddy slides in beside her followed by pawpaw. The car stays deathly silent. We all just wait on the ticking time bomb known as nanny to explode and drag us all down with her.
After thirty minutes the silence is broken, "Mom, you know it isn't true. It's just another lie to try to.." He is stooped dead in the middle of his sentence as she holds a tear soaked hand in the air. Anyone who knows her knows that when you get he hand your best bet is to stay silent or you will hear every insecurity you ever had fall from her demonic lips. Even at thirteen, I know no one dares challenge the hand. No one except me.
"What did the lawyer have to say?" I ask calmly as if unaffected by the events leading to this second. The cars get even quieter, something I didn't think was possible. I can see pawpaw silently pleading with me as I see his reflection in the rearview mirror. Tori slowly shakes her head and mouths please to me. While my dad picks at a hole in his jeans staring at the floorboard. "Something obviously happened. I'm gonna find out one way or another." I push even though I know I should let it go.
"This does not concern you. You are just a child and children should not insert themselves into adults conversations. Children are not to speak unless spoken to. I thought I raised you to be better than this." I roll my eyes despite the fact that I feel her eyes staring a whole through me. "I don't know where this attitude came from but it's getting old and I will not stand for young lady." This causes another eye roll and I reach for my mp3
"I'll find out eventually." Knowing she'll hear me. She shoots me a look that says she isn't doing this here. Of course she isn't. She wouldn't dare say anything in front of people because then they may be able to see the bitch she really is. I place my earphones in my ears before she has the time to respond.
