Unthinkable |An Interracial Love Short Story] (Unedited)

◇Lost In Sight But Never In Mind◇

Sometimes in life, You run across a love unknown. Without a reason, It seems like you belong. Hold on dear life, Don't go off running from what's new. I became somebody Through loving you.

~Dear Life-Anthony Hamilton~

Sada

You would think by now things would be easier on my heart but it's not. Here we are a year later and it still feels as if it just happened yesterday. I'm trying my hardest to let go, but how can I when I'm constantly reminded of him. I've learned to only think of the good things. Sal gave me love, truth and more importantly he gave me life. During our last time together I became pregnant, I gave birth to our beautiful son, Salvatore Carmine Ohari three months ago. I couldn't give him Sal's last name but he's still a junior in my eyes, SJ is definitely his father's son. I know that Sal wouldn't want me to mourn his death but he would want me to celebrate our love and the life we've created.

After everything happened my dad wouldn't talk to me at all. He was very cold and distant which didn't help the situation at all. He told me that I was stupid and selfish to jeopardize my life like that. I guess it's true when they say love is blind, but I was blinded by a love so true so real. The thought of putting our lives in danger slipped my mind once we were in each others arms. Once we found out about the pregnancy his disappointment only grew but he couldn't shut me out anymore cuz I needed my parents to get through it. I needed that support and that push that only they could give me. The funny thing is SJ is definitely a grandpa's boy, I love seeing my dad interact with him. Since he was born my dad has softened up a lot. I was laying out back with SJ on a sheet in the grass, he laid beside me rolling around trying to turn on his stomach. I couldn't help but laugh because my baby was determined to do it, every time I would touch him he'd fuss cuz he wanted to do it alone. Only three months old and he's already trying to be independent.

"You better help that baby Sada." I turned to see Riah with three white roses. I smiled as she sat down beside me and hugged her.

"He won't let me help, my little man wants to do things on his own."

"How are you doing today?" She asked placing the roses down.

"I'm doing okay considering. I appreciate you coming with me today."

"No problem, you're my sister I'm gonna be beside you no matter what."

Riah was going to drive with me to the lake near the house. Today marks one whole year since he died. It has been really hard for me to visit but I tried to for our anniversary and his birthday. My heart is torn when I think about it, this past anniversary would have made four years. Four years of secrecy but true love nonetheless. I wish that things were different, I wish I could have introduced him to my family, I wish he was here for the birth of his son, and I wish he could help raise him and watch him grow up. But I know one thing for sure is that he is watching down on us, protecting us. I'm going to hold myself together and celebrate the life of my one true love, remember the man he was to me and how much just him being there for me made me feel like everything would be alright. In due time everything will be and I have to be strong and trust that it will ne fine and I'll pull through.

The whole ride there was relatively quiet. SJ fell asleep within minutes of driving and I was left in my thoughts. Riah held onto my hand and rubbed it with her finger. I don't know what I would do without my sister, she was my rock she kept me going. Sal use to tell me that when her and I would get into petty fights it wasn't worth it. He'd say she would forever be by my side no matter what and she'd hold me down forever. Well he was right and I don't take anything for granted because life is to short, everyday isn't promised so I cherish my time here with my family. When we got there my heart sank to my stomach. Riah got SJ out of his seat and handed me the flowers. White roses were perfect for this day, they represent new life and also remeberence. We walked down to the spot where Sal set up our picnic and Riah sat underneath the tree with the baby. As I stood by the water overlooking everything I felt his presence, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness fill me but yet calm enough to stick through. One at a time I set a rose on the water and said a prayer. God must have given me the strength, the tears rolled down my face but I made it through. Life can be so unpredictable, you never know what will come your way but at least try to make it worth your wild every step of the way. Don't run from your fears face them, don't hide from your fears embrace them.

I stood there for a while reflecting on everything we've been through. How hard it was to just be with the man I loved, the man who made me feel free. He made me somebody, he let me be me. Sal showed me what love felt like and he gave me the one person in the world that I can give the same amount of love to. Unconditional love. I watched the roses flow down the lake until they were out of sight. I felt the weight lift away and the ache in my heart ease up. Sal was keeping me together and I knew I was going to be okay.