I Am Sorry

I Feel Things, Mike

Mike.

The darkness is setting in and this city is slamming windows right on my face.

I feel surrounded by silhouettes and they are blaming me about something, something which I committed but don't know about.

I can't breathe.

I am flying. The air is getting thicker.

I'm trying hard to flap my arms but it seems like I'm crashing.

It's not meth this time, maybe it's just a phase of euphoria, a feeling of getting wings?

Will you catch me when I fall?

Remember? There was confetti all over the place as we took one step further in the band's career, celebrating and savouring the moment of another album being put out into the arms of audience.

You pecked me between my brows at the end of the day, I adorned a smile.

You dragged me to your car, in solitude, sensing something wrong, nudging me thousand times to spill out what it was and I didn't.

I just couldn't.

"Everyone looks so happy. We did it Chester! Everything seems good."

"Yeah, I-I guess"

"Is something wrong? What are you thinking? Is it about the backlash? Don't you strain yourself for those idiots."

"No. Mike I-you know, I-?"

"Hmm?"

"I feel; actually I don't...I can't feel anything-I just don't know how to put it into words"

"What is it that's so hard to say Chester? Well, have you been skipping your therapies again?"

"No. I just I don't know"

"Ches? You know you can talk to me about anything right?"

"I don't know?"

"Chester. Please?"

"I can't. I don't-"

"Ches?"

"I DON'T KNOW MIKE! I-I told you."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what I get for trying to help? Shout as much as you want Bennington but please, please tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing. I guess I'm just tired a bit, you know we worked our asses off for this album. I can't wait to get back on road."

"Are you sure it's just that? You are not lying to me right?"

"N-no Mike. I'm not."

"Look me in the eye."

"That's all it is dude! Happy and contented? Now let me smear this cake on your face."

"See that's my Chelvis!"

"Don't you try to get all cheesy with me."

I lied Mike. I did a pretty good job in it if not in anything else.

You have always been there for me and there's not even a tiniest slot left for me to enter something heedless like blame and ignorance in our cordial abode of two decades.

"No matter what is it Ches, never hesitate to share it with me. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir!"