Rules Were Made to be Broken

‣ scene 22 [tomorrow can be brighter]

When he had finally finished, he felt like he had deflated. He groaned and sat down beside Mondo. He managed to make the action look like a collapse. Mondo whistled.

"That's... That's a lot. I dunno where to start with that. But... didja actually punch your dad?"

Mondo's voice was a murmur, barely audible over the distant sound of waves crashing against rock. Kiyotaka nodded, and then Mondo smiled. Only a little— it was a brief and barely-noticeable twitch at the corner of the man's mouth. The sort of thing that Kiyotaka wouldn't have noticed in someone else. Someone less significant.

"...Honestly, kid, I'm impressed," Mondo chuckled. Kiyotaka would have laughed along with him if he were in a less sour mood. "I didn't think ya had it in ya to sock somebody right in the jaw. You're always tellin' me to behave myself."

Mondo was clearly trying to lighten the mood a bit, but his voice was still quiet. Kiyotaka bit his lip before saying anything, as he suddenly felt the urge to cry all over again. He wanted to let the current batch of tears dry before he went and produced another one.

"...I used to be intense, you know," he croaked. "I-I wanted to make my family proud." Kiyotaka paused to swallow the lump in his throat. "B-But then, after the hospital incident, I just... I hit a wall. Something about my family had changed, and I was so tired, and I didn't have anyone to talk to. I... I..."

"Ya burned out," Mondo finished for him. It was the first time he'd spoken at his usual volume in a long while. "Of course ya did. Everybody's got a limit. Ya can't work your ass off without stoppin' for so long n' expect not ta fall down at some point."

"But that's just it! I— I had fallen down before. But I'd gotten back up because I was so passionate about learning. And this time... this time it was different. Because I managed to get up and continue to earn the kinds of grades I'd gotten before, but..." He covered his eyes. "...Something was different this time. It was like something inside of me had died, and now... I don't know how to get that back. I don't even know if I can, or if I should."

Mondo didn't reply for at least a minute. He watched as Kiyotaka sobbed into his hand and stubbornly wiped tears away from his eyes. Then, as if he was completely changing the subject, Mondo lit up a cigarette. Kiyotaka didn't bother to scold him about it.

"...A while back, you asked me how I up and decided to be happy. Y'remember that, right?" Mondo's voice was uncharacteristically serious. Kiyotaka blinked as he waited for his memory to catch up with him, and then he nodded.

"I-I do... Why?"

"Well, like I said, it's a real long story. So y'don't have t'hear it if ya don't wanna."

Kiyotaka studied the small cloud of smoke that billowed up into the sky and the way that it faded into the stars as he thought. If Mondo was bringing this up now, of all times, then perhaps it was important.

"I want to know," Kiyotaka said. "Tell me."

"Alright." Mondo readjusted himself until he was comfortable, and then he stared out at the sky, unmoving, like he had forgotten about the cigarette in his hand. "Well, uh, my brother's all I've ever had. We were born to drunks. They'd throw bottles at us n' beat us for no reason, and half the time I don't think they even knew what my name was."

Kiyotaka frowned. He didn't know what this unexpectedly dark history had to do with happiness, but for the moment, he would listen. Mondo had listened to plenty of his complaining.

"That... sounds awful."

"It was. But it's why me n' Daiya are so close. We couldn't rely on anyone else. By the time the cops took us outta that place, it was too late. ...I didn't trust adults."