Sailing Into You.

One: Drowning

"What is life anyways?" I asked, the type of question you think out loud, on purpose maybe.
"Indefinable." He answered.
It bothered me how simple his answers were, as if he is stepping on every flower of curiosity I've tried to plant in front of him, and water it with such questions, so maybe he can notice me, as an intellectual soul, or just a curious want-to-be kind of one.
"Indefinable? Really? Then why aren't you dead by now?" I tried to mock him, make him feel like he knows less to boost my own self-esteem. I don't know why, either to make myself feel more mature or make him feel like he knows nothing, the same nothing that can make want to listen to him just talking about anything, anytime and anywhere. The full of things kind of nothings. Both intentions, however, we derived by craving attention.
"I think I'd be dead if I actually know"
Huh? I didn't utter the word but the face I made was screaming it already.
"I think it is better if we don't understand or even know what is life anyways."
"So you just exist?" I exclaimed.
"If your life revolves around existing not living then this how you, yourself, define it."
"It." i thought to myself.
Life, this temporary journey that feels so permanent, that starts once you're forced out of your mother's womb or beautifully created -depends on how you feel about existing-, and continues as you grow number by number, that thing called age, and actually starts to become a living, not just a process of your body functioning and occupying a volume in this world, all because you start sensing. The taste of sea-salt resting on your lips, the smell of the ocean's fishy breeze, the touch of a single hand, the rhythm of a song you can't stop humming, and the insight of someone you can never get tired of staring at. And then you start feeling, you love and hate, fear and desire, disparage and worship.. It is like your soul is now freed from the trap of the mundane cage so it flies somewhere else, incorporeal.
"It." I shook my head throwing a smirk.
Silence.
He smiled. His not so white but beautiful set of teeth tried hopelessly to creep out, but the curve of his closed lips was undefeatable. It felt as if his lips were grabbing my heart, squeezing it gently as it melts and disappears somewhere between them and between his eyes that smiled even wider, and it felt, at this very moment, that all the meanings of life, surviving, universe, galaxies were as simple as his answers. Everything made sense. He brought the meaning to the "it" , you brought life. And little did he know he did. Or did he?
"Forget I asked" I said, trying to snap out of my thoughts, not really caring If I sound indifferent or dumb anymore.
"What were we talking about anyways?" Trying to sound as serious as possible, he replied.
But he couldn't. A smile escaped his lips again, but this one was different. It was the kind of smile full of vanity that if decoded into words would say: I know I leave you thoughtful, and I like it.
And I really like it too, you know I do.
"Last one to reach the water is a loser."
"Grow up T. for the love of God."
He was already floating like a beautiful feather on the surface of the sea, as I said that. Jealous, i felt, very jealous over how someone could be so perfectly flawless.
Never grow up T. I repeated deep inside, don't you dare. Cause once you get the courage to, you might start to figure out your life, but you'll be demolishing mine. Please.

       ***************************

He walked me back home, I held his hand although I wasn't sure if friends hold hands but i didn't care, it made me feel safe, as cheesy as this sounds.
I can still feel the salt crystals on the surface of his not so rough palm, and it stroke me, the fact that i really love spending my summer with him, in the water, on the sand, between the trees, on the roof top, in my room because his smells like sweat and dead electronic bodies, a room of a gamer, can I make it any more obvious? I just really liked spending time with him.
His curls were gracefully covering his forehead, and if you can look closely you can still feel the tides dancing through his ocean-wet hair. He loved the sea so much it became a part of him, and I think I'm drowning.
"See you tomorrow?"
"Sure, billy billy?"
Billy billy was the name of the spot we usually meet at, i don't quite remeber why we named such a name, but we are not bothered enough to change it.
"Billeh billeh" he mocked.