I believe a many of men think that they have lost their salvation- and that a many of man have lost the understanding of what it means to be alive- through trials and tribulations- a man will look at himself deeply- at himself, in the mirror or through his words and actions with such disdain. Where at times he falters to his very knees of the anger and or anguish he has had to experience. The traumatic truth of his past. Where it is then he finds a wolf at this time now- standing in front of his very damaged, shuttering existence. Vulnerable and wounded. That wolf devours his spirit. But not with intense violence- or of a flesh ripping ceremony, but with a crooked smile. Of false promises. A wolf of which orders he begins to follow. Sadly following. A sad leading from a sad leader. Thinking strongly that his taking with this wolf will work with him as "salvation" as a hope for a better future. But this wolf. No. This wolf lies with its every word. "Hope" is not hope with this wolf. "Hope" and "love" is a gravestone to him. Yet this wolf continues to lie to him regardless. This wolf is not evil but has taken evil on with its every movement and every word- gilded in its every appearance. Because it is this wolf that is so powerful and so "smart" so "beautiful" and charmed with so many possessions. That this wolf is hard. Hard to let go of. And easy to follow because of his "worth" ...for this wolf sways the way of the mans mind so easy. And then blames the damaged man. The damaged son of man for the wolf's actions. The boy the son the son of man. Who only wanted to trust that the world isn't as dark as he has had to experience it is. With a smile that becomes blurry and hard to help. A smile that this boy doesn't understand how to make or to feel. Will this boy ever leave this wolf?
Maybe. Yes but maybe no. But maybe someday. And that is what is true. This boy encountering many of men teaching him the wolf is not who the wolf says he is. This boy learning the ways of the world trickling away day by day from this wolf onto paths of great thinkers houses without the wolfs knowledge. Filling his heart up with forgiveness, resurrection, real hope, and real love. The boy speaking his mind with gods and goddesses of what real love is. And what a real existence is like.
We then need to look at this boy who. Is no longer at this point a boy now. Is he?
He is a man. Honorary is this man now. This young man returns to the wolf one day after many sunrises of much interpersonal growth. He looks at this wolf- one last time. Sleeping. He gazes at this wolfs slumber. Knowing fully well when the wolf arises and the wolf wakes up he is no longer as peaceful and precious as he looks when he is asleep. Knowing full well this wolf is full of anger, of anguish, of hate, and fear. He takes him on now.
But stop here. Realize here. This young man does not take his axe or his spear- he does not slay this wolf. He does not take anger upon himself in his hands now. For he has been letting go of that animosity day by day without the wolf as you may remember reading. He wakes the wolf. Not with of any violence. But with forgiveness.
He wakes the wolf. Sits him up. And they converse now at this point. As they are talking. Life approaches. Many animals come into this conversation to listen to the young man. As they wish to see if this young man has listened to them- for he has visited these animals before for wisdom on the question- "how is it do I leave this wolf?"
The wolf begins getting very defensive, aggressive and manipulative as this young man speaks and exposes the wolfs doings. And what is it. That this wolf did. What did it do?
The young man, however, continues to approach the conversation with the wolf with no harm and/ or violence be that both in tongue and arm.
The animals scared for the young man but the young man however not scared for himself. He has taught too much love and kindness, forgiveness, and tranquility to the world now at this point to ever be afraid of the wolfs "power" forever more. Teaching the wolf. That yes. He did wrong. This wolf did a many of terrible wrong "unforgivable" "life threatening" "dangerous" things to this boy. And this wolf should and now must endure and suffer the consequences of his actions. For karma will return and potentially forever swallow this wolf whole. To never return to this Earth. This world as he appears today in the skin and vessel he embodies.
But that he, maybe one day might be able to redeem himself in another life accepting his actions by humiliating himself to the utter shame of his actions and behaviors that have harmed so many. For nothing. For absolutely nothing. But. Maybe it is one day- this wolf will find the source of himself. Accepting the responsibilities of his behaviors. Through true humiliation.
"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source. True humility is the only antidote to shame." -General Iroh
-by me (a part of my personal life story in the words that I would and will forever describe in a book that I may never write)
