A Dragon is not a Slave

Restless

     The next day it rained into the evening, when the rain turned into a loud storm, which made Daenerys restless and irritable. She couldn't ride her old silver out to see the Dothraki , or even take a walk along the cliff and so was forced to run her thoughts, over and over again. Each passing day she yearned to take to the skies, and Tyrion talked her out of it every time. But it didn't stop her from doubting, from wondering. BE a dragon, Lady Olenna had said, and now she was gone. A real dragon would have slaughtered it's enemies by now.

      So quiet was Daenerys at dinner that it almost seemed the young King was more animated than her, even smiling on occasion. She acted the part, as she was meant, joining in the talk however lightly, and leaving graciously and early as a lady should. But in her chambers she was so angry she lashed out at her handmaids, and even dismissed Missandei with a careless voice. Her bad reactions only troubled her more and when it was time she should be asleep, she lay awake instead. Guilty thoughts trailed, and Dany tossed until, driven from her bed she wandered the dark halls alone, moonlight fighting with the clouds that darkened her way. A ghost in a castle, dressed only in her nightgown.

      The remains of lightning flashing across the water slowed her step, at a window off the great hall and there she stood for only a moment when the rustle of movement, very close at hand startled her. 

      "Pardon, Your Grace." the voice was low, "I meant not to scare you." The voice was Jon Snows. "I didn't think anyone in the castle would still be awake."

      "I'm a light sleeper" Dany swallowed softly, "I see the sky has cleared."

      "It has," and answered, then took a step away, "I should-"

     "You may stay," she told him, and then realized how very demanding that seemed. But he stayed, and she found herself saying, "I have been thinking of my uncle..."

     Jon took a step closer, "I should not have mentioned him, when in the next breath I had only bad news."

       She eyed the boy, and his sudden kindness, and said, "I confess I've been wondering if he would have forsaken his vows once he met me. Or if he would have thought me impulsive. Or a foolish girl."

        A flash of distant lightning played off of Jon Snows face, and it was revealed him to be watching her most intently. Danaerys felt a small punch of feeling inside, and so long had it been since she'd blushed under the gaze of a mans eyes, that now she felt a healthy dose of fear along with it. It took too long for the king to answer. All this time he'd been talking about the north, and the threat coming, or even of the things that had passed for Tyrion in the time they'd not been in contact. He never spoke about her wars, or her fears. It was like he didn't care to know them, and she felt that he should know them, if he coming to her for help. Maybe, all this time, Jon Snow really did mean her harm. Maybe...

       She turned back to the window, squeezing her eyes closed.

     "Sometimes," Daenerys spoke her thoughts out into the moonlight, "I am scared of what my mind might become. I see enemies everywhere, in every shadow, where they aren't any. I have left a trail of them behind me and sometimes... I know they are coming for me..." She turned to him, astounded that she'd spoken such thoughts out loud. "Excuse me, I forget myself."

       Dany made a move to leave but his words stopped her.

      "He would have." She turned back to Jon. "Forsaken his vows," he explained. "Maester Aemon. He would have."

     "How do you know?" Dany wished she could keep the emotion from her voice. She heard Jon Snow swallow, and knew the moon was shining on her face, but it wasn't until he cleared his throat that she realized she was gripping his arms, tightly. She let go. 

      "I...I knew him." was his only answer, "I'm sorry."

      Dany waited for more, but he did not speak again. 

         "I wish I would have known him." the moon drew her eyes to it, "I wish I would have known my brother Rhaegar, and his son Aegon, the prince, who was born just before me. He might have been good..." Dany paused. There may have been more Targeryan's by now. "But wishing does nothing. I remain the last of my dying family." After a steadying breath she turned back to him. "Nothing you could have said or not said can change that I beg you do not feel burdened."

         He might have wanted to say more, but she bid the king a good night and left him in the moonlit hall. In the flashing light she crept back to her chambers, and took to her bed. She was a foolish girl, wandering her halls, speaking crazy thoughts to potential allies. Aegon the conqueror would have had half of Westeros by now, with his own three dragons. But his sisters rode with him...she thought, Aegon was not all alone. You are alone. She feared most of all, of course, that it wasn't Rhaegar or Aegon she was most like, she feared she really was the Mad Kings daughter. That some day she wouldn't care what she did or who she killed. 

        Once more, she lay in bed with no sleep, until her thoughts returned to the young King, and his infuriating sympathy. Even in the dark there had been a sort of presence about him, she tried to recall exactly what it was, but she slipped into a dream and finally her body was at rest.