The Psychic's cat

I felt like cancelling my appointment right away. Maggie picked up her lunch and told me not to worry. An archangel would certainly never do me any harm.

I ordered another beer to drink with the spicy food and tried to focus on eating. I was not very reassured by what I had just heard. A witch, an archangel and strange things happening in a room somewhere. Hmmm. God knows what I was getting myself into.

At the agreed time, I showed up at "lady Barachiel"'s door feeling sheepish. Try ringing the doorbell of an archangel and see how it feels. The door was old on the squeaky second floor of a rather dirty looking building.

A pretty doe-eyed brunette stood before me, asking if I was Allie. I nodded hesitantly as she gave me a warm smile, pulling me promptly in the apartment telling me "Sorry, it is extremely cold out there and my cat hates drafts". She asked in a soft voice to wait for her in the kitchen as she had an urgent phone call to make and got me a strong Espresso coffee to drink in the meantime.

I sat comfortably around a clean table covered with a yellow plastic tablecloth. On a chair not far, a big black cat with a tuft of scruff white hair on the chest looked back at me with interest while carefully licking his paws.

I grabbed a magazine on a nearby shelf and went on sipping my coffee while enjoying the warmth and quiet of Barachiel's kitchen.

Suddenly I heard a slightly hoarse voice with a strong Jamaican accent saying something about my coconut bread and some "duggu-duggu dis coming month ". Caught short I looked around feeling unsure about what I had heard. I had had a few beers after all and thought I might be asleep. I looked around quickly and saw just the cat. I felt it was time I stood-up a bit, stretched my legs and checked on Barachiel. I carefully opened the door separating the kitchen from the living room and took a peek. She was still on the phone in the middle of a lively conversation spoken in a foreign language. I went back to my seat quietly and thought it would be a great idea to socialize with the cat. What a mistake that was.

I moved my hand towards his small head when he took a big leap that brought him right in front of me on the table. I giggled and called him "litt'l bugger" as I did not know any better. The thing looked back at me and said "Kiss mi rass". I swear, Anne, I was not drunk and not under the influence of any recreational herbal extract.

I looked around, scared, thinking someone was playing with my sanity. The cat lazily stretched his black and white legs and said: "I'm speaking to you dear, don't panic, there's nothing to worry about...."

I looked at him carefully. His yellow-green eyes were smiling back at me. He was the voice. "You really like Las Vegas, don't you?" he asked "Wham-bam-thank-you-man, right?". Disbelief turned me numb. I pushed my chair away from the table. "Wah di rass gyal !!??" he said (which I somehow understood as "What the f**k girl !!??" ).

I stood away from the table. He sat down gravely and told me "that's where it's all gonna happen: you'll get it with an easy guy in a crappy motel in Las Vegas". I looked at him pissed. "Get WHAT!?" I asked extremely irritated. The cat sighed. "Blouse'n skirts, you can be real dumb. SEX." I was shocked.

Barachiel knocked carefully on the kitchen door. "May I come in?" I responded with a weak voice "Yes, please". She came in looking at me carefully. "Is everything okay?" I felt unsure about the answer. "Your cat is a very rude Jamaican man" I ended up saying. Barachiel smiled. She turned to the monster and told him "Enough with the fun don't you think?" The cat laughed. He nonchalantly started licking his nipples and said "Oh well, a bit of fun is always good ain't it?" Barachiel told me that despite his bad attitude he was a very skilled Tarot reader. She asked if I would still be willing to give it a try.