[Transcript from a recording]
Iwaizumi: Oikawa, why are you still crying?
Oikawa: I DON'T WANNA DO THIS
Iwaizumi: Do what? The surgery is over Shittykawa we're going home
Oikawa: NO WE'RE NOT
Iwaizumi: What do you mean "no we're not"
Oikawa: I'M TO YOUNG TO ROB A BANK IWA-CHAN *sobbing*
Iwaizumi: *laughing* what are you talking about Shittykawa?
*pulls into driveway*
Oikawa: DON'T MAKE ME DO IT IWA-CHAN
Oikawa: I HAVE A GOOD FUTURE AHEAD OF ME *gauze falls out and blood and saliva drips down his chin*
Iwaizumi: *laughing so hard he can't speak*
Oikawa: *still sobbing* I DON'T CARE IF YOU WANT TO ROB THE BANK BUT I'M STAYING HERE I AM TOO YOUNG TO GO TO JAIL
Iwaizumi: Oikawa, we're not robbing a bank
Oikawa: YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER I KNOW YOU'RE LYING
Iwaizumi: *done* Fine. I'll rob the bank by myself, and then we can use the money to buy you some ice cream, okay?
Oikawa: *hears "ice cream" and immediately stops crying* y-you didn't tell me we were buying ice cream
Iwaizumi: Yeah, we are. Will you come with me now?
Oikawa: *nods*
Iwaizumi: Let's go then
*enters house*
Oikawa: There's no money here *bursts into tears and cries in the entry way for 5 minutes*
Iwaizumi: *cry-laughing*
~•~ Two Hours Later ~•~
[texts]
Oikawa: IWA-CHAN
Iwaizumi: what
Oikawa: I FOUND THE REAL SLIM SHADY
Iwaizumi: who
Oikawa:
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Oikawa: I'M THE REAL SLIM SHADY
Iwaizumi: No you're not
Oikawa: Yes I am
Iwaizumi: No you're not
Oikawa: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME
Iwaizumi: YOU CAN'T EVEN RAP OIKAWA
Iwaizumi: AND THE PARTS OF SPEECH RAP FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DOESN'T COUNT
Oikawa: PREPOSITION PRONOUN ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB
Iwaizumi: NO
Oikawa: I'm not going to stop until you bow down the real Slim Shady
Iwaizumi: omfg
Iwaizumi: All hail the real Slim Shady
Oikawa: I TOLD YOU
Oikawa: HAHAHAHERHER
~•~ Another two hours later ~•~
Oikawa: Iwa-chan do you have my teeth
Iwaizumi: What?
Oikawa: My wisdom teeth
Oikawa: Do you have them? Cuz I don't
Iwaizumi: Why the hell why I keep your teeth Shittykawa
Iwaizumi: The oral surgeon threw them away
Oikawa: WHAT?!?!??
Oikawa: IWA-CHAN
Oikawa: HOW COULD YOU LET THEM DO THAT
Iwaizumi: what do you mean
Oikawa: THE TOOTH FAIRY NEEDS MY TEETH TO MAKE DENTURES FOR OLD PEOPLE
Iwaizumi: No she doesn't, Oikawa, she has plenty of teeth
Oikawa: BUT THE DENTURES IWA-CHAN
Iwaizumi: Oikawa the tooth fairy isn't even real
Oikawa: YOU'RE JUST A HATER
Iwaizumi: Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize I was impeding on your dreams
Oikawa: WE HAVE TO GET MY TEETH
Oikawa: THE OLD PEOPLE NEED THEIR DENTURES
Iwaizumi: They'll be fine Oikawa
Oikawa: I NEED TO GET MY TEETH
Oikawa: COME PICK ME UP
Iwaizumi: No. Oikawa. This is ridiculous, you're 17
Oikawa: PLEEEEEAAAASSSSSEEE
Oikawa: Please
Oikawa: Please
Oikawa: Please
Oikawa: Please
Oikawa: Please
Oikawa: Please
Oikawa: Please
Iwaizumi: IM NOT TAKING YOU BACK TO GET YOUR DAMN TEETH YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE BLOOD
Oikawa: YOU'RE SO MEAN IWA-CHAN
Oikawa: YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME, THE TOOTH FAIRY, OR THE OLD PEOPLE
Iwaizumi: Wow, sorry I'm such a terrible person
Oikawa: You are
{Tooru Oikawa locked the conversation}
A/N: This seemed to be a frequently requested chapter, so here ya go readers! I hope it's everything you wanted. If you want me to do a part 2, please leave a vote and comment. Thank you for reading! -Elisabeth
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Haikyuu!! Texts
FanfictionA behind-the-scenes look into the phones of Haikyuu, including members of Karasuno, Nekoma, Fukurodani, Aoba Johsai, Date Tech, Johzenji, and Shiratorizawa.
