Love & War | Brad Simpson ✔️

45. "She who prides herself on being so fucking honest"

"I tried, babe" he sighs.

"I know you did" I mumble, leaning into him. He presses his lips softly to my temple.

"He just needs time to cool off" Connor says, "he'll come round"

"We'll help you guys tidy up" James says. The suggestion pretty much seals the deal that the party is over.

"You don't have to" I shrug, "we can do it tomorrow"

"Don't worry about it" Connor sends us a reassuring smile, "we're happy to help"

We all spend half an hour or so collecting bottles and throwing rubbish into a couple of bin bags. Most people have left and the few that are milling around soon disappear when we turn the lights on and the music off.

James and Connor are the last to leave. I appreciate that they've stayed and helped out and that neither of them have been hard on us about the whole situation. Once they've gone, Brad and I decide to just go straight to bed. It's been a long night and I am so ready to sleep.

"You wanna stay with me tonight?" Brad asks as we reach our rooms.

"Yeah, that'll go down well if Tris comes home and finds me in your bed" I scoff, rolling my eyes before I glance up at Brad who is watching me carefully. A small sigh leaves my lips, "I kinda just want to be on my own right now"

"Sure" he nods, before his arms wrap around my torso and hold me firmly against his body. I wind my arms around him and tuck my head into the crook of his neck, "we'll sort everything out with Tris, babe" he mumbles quietly in my ear, "I promise"

I want to believe him, I really do. But I really don't know if that will happen.

"You can't promise that"

He pulls away and cups my face in his hands, resting his forehead against mine, "I will do everything I can to sort things out with Tris"

My hearts warms, and I wish that I wasn't so sad about Tris's reaction so that I could appreciate the moment.

Brad presses his lips softly against my forehead before he bumps his nose gently against mine, "I'll see you tomorrow then"

I nod and reluctantly untangle my arms from his waist.

"Night, babe" he coos.

"Night"

My reply is lacking in enthusiasm, as is my walk back to my room. I have no energy and feel so drained by the night's events.

I'm barely halfway through taking my make up off when the tears come. I'm not much of a crier, and if I do, it's never in public. It's never where anyone can see me in such a vulnerable state because I don't like people seeing that side of me. Today's events have just really taken their toll on me and the stray tears turn into a steady downpour. I can't help it. All I can think about it is Brad and Tris and the uncertain future of the relationships that I hold with each of them. I try and focus on what Brad said earlier, about him doing everything he can to sort things out with Tris, but I can't get the look on Tris's face when he left out of my head. Just pure disappointment. And betrayal.

I feel bad for him. How embarrassing, to be made to look like such a mug in front of your closest friends. By your best mate and your sister, of all people. Finding out that they've been keeping such a massive secret from you, hiding it right under your nose this whole time, lying to your face and denying it when you brought up your suspicions.

The tears won't stop and for the first time in a long time, I feel a sudden, overwhelming need for comfort. Before I can over-think it, I leave my room and make my way down the corridor to Brad's room. I no longer care if Tris comes back in the morning and finds me in Brad's bed so I quietly open the door to Brad's room and shut it behind me. In the dark, I can only just make out the outline of Brad's body beneath the sheets, and it seems like he's asleep.

I quietly make my way over to his bedside and lift the duvet up a little, slipping in between the sheets to nestle myself in beside Brad. He stirs and in his sleepy haze, it takes him a couple of moments to clock that I've got in his bed. When he does, he doesn't say anything; he simply wraps me up in his arms and pulls me against his chest. He's only wearing a pair of boxers and so his body heat immediately envelops me, the warmth dampening the pain in my chest, even if only a little. I nuzzle my head into his chest, squeezing my eyes shut as a few tears slip down my cheeks and onto Brad's skin. He hugs me tighter and I wind my arm around his waist.

"I don't want to lose you" my voice is barely a whisper. I feel his lips brush against my temple.

"You're not going to" he whispers back.

As we lay together in the dark in our attempt to escape the night and drift off to sleep, I can only pray that he's right.