Sweet Pea | Tension

Never Again

Fast forward a month, it's all just kind of been a blur. I spent most of my time not leaving Jughead's side. Jughead, Toni, and I went shopping for new furniture for my place. It was finally finished and I have been staying there ever since I went to pay my first months rent, and it turns out FP hasn't paid his rent in months. I covered his and mine, but he'll never know. I make sure that every day for dinner, I'm either at the Jones trailer or at the wyrm with my dad. I call him FP, but I've been thinking of him more and more as my father. I had decided to swear off boys for a while, whether that be Sweet Pea, Reggie, or any other Riverdale candidates that came my way. I needed to work on me. I don't know who I am. I'm the daughter of a gang leader, and a sister to the leader of the younger generation my dad led. I have no mother and no stepfather. I dress the way I do for attention, but I'm not sure how badly I want that attention. I have this group of individuals that would literally give their lives for me, but why? Because their leader knocked up my mom? I had also joined the River Vixens, I loved dancing and was growing closer with Betty and Veronica. So many thoughts swirled around my head, around and around until I got thrown out of it when I was sitting in class one day.

I wore dark wash high waisted jeans, with spontaneous holes in them, a black cotton crop top, and deep green chunky heels booties. I sat in first period, if you remember, that's English. I've begun to really enjoy this class, the books, and articles we read to take me away from the real world and show me a world that is so different from my own. Reggie wasn't here today, thank god, he was on vacation with his family because football season was over. Sweet Pea was still my bodyguard, as per usual but I avoided him at all costs, Toni told me it was taking a toll on him, but I told her I need to work on me, and I think I have. Unfortunately, him and I talking came with a large price, I heard him stirred from behind but he freaked out over someone staring at my chest. Sweet Pea stood up and threw his desk over, he walked over to the guy, who was on the baseball team and grabbed him by the neck of his shirt, causing him to not be able to touch the group with his feet, bringing him to eye level and said, "Stair at her chest one more time, and I'll bring your fucking arms," he then threw him down into the chair below him, looked at me and stormed off. I immediately got up and ran after him, as did Toni. Toni was a lot faster than me because she was in ugg boots and I was in heels. He stormed over to his motorcycle and turned it on. He was arguing with Toni, which bought me time, just before he began to drive, I jumped on. He looked back and was about to throw me off, but just huffed and drove away.

We drove for an hour and a half until we reached the coast. It was cold there but it was beautiful. We didn't talk for a while. We sat, on the ground, in front of his bike, looking at the New York waves roll in and out and the winds came and went. We watched birds fly over us, a cardinal landed on my leg. It played with the strings from my jeans before hoping up my leg closer to me, it then flew on to my shoulder and rubbed itself on my neck, it was a female. Females are more brown and males are red, she was brown with red tipped wings and a red beak. My mom always told me she would come back as a cardinal, because they were so majestic, and they could do anything they wanted and they didn't have to stay in one place. This was the first time I had thought of her without crying, so I instead smiled at the bird, and then it flew away. He took off his jacket when he noticed me shivering, "You tell anyone I put this on you and I swear I'll never talk to you again," I laughed and closed my eyes to the warm. "Lizzie," Sweet Pea said, "Hm, Pea," I said turned to him.

"What happened," he asked. "Why, after the night you talked with Reggie, why did you ignore me until now," I sighed, putting my head on his broad strong shoulder and wrapping my arm and his. "I needed to figure things out inside me, you know my life has been crazy since I came here, and I am so grateful that you were willing to help distract me," I said raising my face to meet his, I smiled and saw a small one stretch across his, "but, after that night, I just needed to figure it out. I needed time to mourn and find myself again. It all happened so quickly, I had no time to breathe. It was one shitty thing after another, I knew that when Marcel and Ceasar came here, that was it. That I could finally rest, and I could finally let go of the bad, and find the good in my life. I still am finding the good in my life," I said tugging his arm a little. "And I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, or make you upset. You have been nothing but good to me, you have been my protector and my hero, my pleasurer," I paused to smile at him as he smirked at my last comment. "What I did was unfair, I know, and I will absolutely own it. But please know, it wasn't intentional. I have it worked out, I just wasn't sure how to say it to you," I looked out to the ocean and shook my head, "I've only known you a little while and I already care so much about you Sweet Pea. You don't deserve me, you deserve someone who can be honest and who can be there for you," I said pushing away from him, standing up and walking away.

I started crying again, thinking about how terrible I have been to this fantastic person, who just wanted to love me. He got up after me and grabbed me, pulling me into his body. He placed one hand on my head, and another just above the small of my back. He held me as I cried but after a few moments, I pushed away. "NO PEA," I screamed, "THIS ISN'T FAIR," I began to walk away again but he was too fast. Damn long legs, "Why," he grabbed my hand this time, pulling me in and holding me with a strong gentle force, both hands on my waist. "You have been devastated the past month, all because of me. I know, Toni told me!!" I yelled up at him. "Damn, Toni," he said under his breath rolling his eyes, still hold on to me. "Let me go," I said, pushing and punching his chest like a little kid, but it was no use, he was too damn strong. "Lizzie. I have never met someone with more heart and passion than you. You have something over me and I just don't know what it is," he said, "Pea let me go, I don't deserve this. I'll walk back, let go!" I said, "Hey," he scolded me picking me up, I felt like a child, but I needed to be treated like one because I was acting like one. "Did it hurt? Fuck yeah, it hurt Lizzie. But trust me, I've gotten stabbed and shot before, I knew that pain wouldn't last forever. I hate that it took until I broke and for us to be 2 hours from Riverdale but here we are. You have me," he said dropping me down, now looking into his eyes longingly. "You have Jughead, and FP, Toni, and Fangs, all the Serpents, you have Reggie and the stupid Bulldogs. All of us protecting you, want to know how I know? Because Reggie talked to Betty about you, he's been worried, just like me, because you ignored him. You are special, Lizzie," he said placing either hand on my face, "I will never let anyone hurt you again," he said pushing his forehead to mine, still holding my face. "I promise," with that I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and placing my lips on his.

A/N: NOTE FROM THE FIRST PARAGRAPH-- I am NOT shaming people for dressing a certain way. I say you do you, but this is just the thought of Lizzie!!!
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