ABSTRACT THOUGHTS ⊳ TWILIGHT

37 | rejected, embry call

i'd die, and suffer today. like how i am anyday now.

❝ i wished you the best of ❞
all this world could give
and i told you when you left me
there's nothing to forgive.

we talked.

and i was happy, but i can tell by the way your eyes are showing that you were forced. oh why won't you be forced when i already looked so dead every day now, people starting to dislike me and avoid me except for my real friends.

and just today, you happen to walk your way towards me with no remorse or pity spread across your face.

you remained emotionless, stoic.

❝ i'm not here to beg for you. seth told me i should try to converse, 'cause you looked like. . you know what i mean. ❞ she said, arms crossed over her chest as i looked at her. sure her words stung but i didn't mind it. just her presence, i only minded her presence.

❝  maggie . . ❞ i breathed out, by far one of the most beautiful word i'd rather speak and would dare to repeat it like a mantra for a punishment.

it wouldn't feel like a punishment though.

she rose her eyebrows as i shook my head and gave her a sheepish smile, she remained emotionless as i heaved out a sigh.

❝ i'm sorry, really. i'm sorry, maggie, i know what i did was too idiotic but i'll do anything for you. everything, please please. ❞ i was on the verge of crying again, but i held myself strong — biting my lip to suppress my tears.

she only nodded, but her stepping her foot back, i knew the conversation is already over. she was already walking away when i called her,

❝ you didn't have to forgive me. ❞

she turned her attention back to me, eyes held might —  ❝ i didn't. ❞

with that, she left.

❝ but i always thought you'd come back,  ❞
tell me all you found was
heartbreak &misery.

thoughts of her coming back was cut when i stood up to glance on their house porch. seeing her with a travel bag, alongside her own small bag as she hugged her parents with a kiss. dragging her travel bag only to be assisted by her father who placed it on the trunk of their car.

seth then came from their house, bringing some baggages that seem to belong to her as well. i broke into tears, knowing she's going to leave forks. her free hands found their way on seth's waist as he hugged her tenderly — i wish i could recieve her hug too.

breaking the hug, he gave a firm kiss on her forehead as she waved good bye and entered her car. her father following suit by entering on the driver's seat — as the car went off.

i then quickly dialled her phone, only to be brought to voice mail. she still must be busy with arranging her stuff or talking with her dad, or just maybe ignoring me completely.

❝ hey, didn't get to say goodbye to you. i didn't know you were leaving . . well, i just hope you're gonna have a safe trip and well i guess have fun to whereever you are to go.  ❞

there was a pause,

❝ just so you know, i'm that of a jealous type of guy. and i'm jealous of little things that had gotten closer to you rather than me — like your book that you can manage to hold. ❞

sad laughs seem to echo my lonely room as i continued to converse but felt like it was enough, so before ending the call — i knew i still have something in mind to say.

❝ but i . . it's hard for me to say, but i'm jealous of the way you're happy without me. ❞

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

—kyah! it's donee, i really had
fun doing this. and if you noticed
i did jumped from lyric to lyric.

it'll sure take me a lot to finish
if i were to write the whole
song (๑>◡<๑) any how i hope
you liked this!

have a fun day / night !
love, collin.♡