missin u

380 28 17
                                    

what nobody will ever tell is that you will never (ever) get over your heartbreak. you think you will, you believe you are; you start dancing again and you stop impulsive 3a.m. journaling- but those things don't mean anything.

one day you will be watching a movie with your friends and the lead actor will look a little too curly haired, a little too crooked smiled and a little too Him. one day gary from accounting will get a new but very familiar cologne, one day someone will play my kind of woman during a road trip and you'll remember, and you'll know: you aren't over your heartbreak.

it's been 10 months to the dot and you still pretend that you hated that movie, that gary from accounting is sorta-kinda cute if you look at him from an angle where you can't see his wedding ring, that my kind of woman is the worse fucking song to play on the road.

(my shrink says i run from my feelings but i tell her i uber everywhere, black windows rolled up until we pass his neighborhood, 10 minutes until we're safe. you'll never look good enough to see him again.)

it's been 10 months and you still rent war movies till you're up to your knees with straight haired white men, it's been 10 months and you ask gary if he's on facebook, it's been 10 months and you rip out your car stereo, pop your tires and fire your shrink because she is always right.

your best friend shoves your head in oreo cheesecake and drives you home with your teeth still cold. she passes the intersection and tells you how she isn't over the boy she was in love with at 16. you're still waiting to carpool with him tomorrow. like you'll get in the car and the green will just run by, like mother nature can feel the coming of your red pulsing heart, like the world isn't ready for you so it splits in 2 and keeps you in its back pocket.

everything is fine as long as you promise to kiss me at midnight,
smack dab in the earth's core.
our physics teacher always told us gravity will pull us to the center
so what better place to wed?
i got a veil made out of lava
and a dress made out of magma.

but that was 10 months ago. he has since catapulted to pluto and i haven't seen him since he moved

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