Here's to Heaven ~ Frerard

prologue

          As soon as he saw the fluorescent lights of the shabby apartment begin to blur at the edges of his sight, he knew he had been successful. The cold tiles beneath him soothed him, and somehow the blood that was seeping through his clothes was a thing of comfort, rather than a trigger of panic like it should have been.

          He drew in a deep breath, ignoring the sharp burning sensation buried deep within his abdomen, succumbing to the growing apathy that had been brewing within his subconscious for years now. The shrieking, the pounding, the sobs, it all faded into background noise, allowing him to shift into a serene silence, a simple nothing that he had been craving for all too long.

          All sensation faded, until he was drifting in emptiness. He felt nothing, yet everything; every emotion, every memory seemed far off and unreachable, but they were still the only things that he was capable of grasping. Slowly, he allowed them to slip from his reach, until he wasn't able to remember his name, let alone his own. Though he swore he could never forget him, here he was, swimming in- what exactly, he wasn't sure, but he was definitely swimming.