Frauleinstein

Chapter XI: Frauleinstein, Part I

The girl nodded her agreement.

"It so happens," said Dr. Pretorius, "that you arranged a new name for yourself, to be used in your new life. Falsified government records based on this new name have been established at great expense, and you even have a passport. The name selected was Mila Stein. So from this moment on, you shall be known as...

"Fräulein Stein!"

(Lightning crashed nearby)

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"These are your chambers," said Dr. Pretorius as he led Fräulein Stein into her room, with Dieter and Friedrich close behind.  "You should find everything you need in here to freshen up. The closet has been filled with clothes in your size and selected to be age appropriate."

"Okay, thanks. I guess I can... WHAaat the!?" exclaimed Fräulein Stein as she caught sight of her reflection. She sat at her makeup table, and stared in the mirror.

"Whoa, dude," she said with a laugh. "I guess I really don't remember much. I didn't even know I was a chick!"

"Yes," agreed Dr. Pretorius. "Of course, you are a 'chick'! That is why we have been calling you 'Fräulein' for the past half hour!"

"Oh yeah," she laughed again at herself. "I gotta learn German if I'm gonna hang out with you guys."

Suddenly something else in the mirror caught her attention. Fräulein Stein looked more closely, and pushed the hair away from her forehead.

"Hey, hold on!" she said. "What... like, look at this scar! This is like... holy cheese dip! How the heck did this happen? Did you sew this?"

"Well, yes! I, I..." stammered Pretorius.

"What with, a harpoon?" she continued to rant. "I gotta live with this you know. Ah, for... I can't believe, I'm actually thinking of getting bangs, you know?"

"Bangs?" Dr. Pretorius said at a loss.

"I think that's the American word for fringe," Dieter told him in a whisper.

Dr. Pretorius addressed Fräulein Stein. "Do you mean, the fringe?" The doctor used his fingers to make a scissors motion across his forehead. "We can arrange for this, of course."

"Look," complained Fräulein Stein. "I don't want bangs, or fringe, or whatever you want to call it. The point is not that I want some freaky hairstyle. The point is, I don't want people looking at me like I've had a fricking lobotomy!"

Dr. Pretorius would put up with a lot from Valeria Engel. After all, she was perhaps the most brilliant mind of all time, as well as a billionaire who funded his research. However he was less than thrilled to put up with a teenage tantrum from her, combined with insults to his surgical abilities. In annoyance he said, "Well what did you expect to happen when we removed your brain?"

Fräulein Stein turned from the mirror and stared at the doctor in disbelief. "You removed my brain?" she asked, once she felt reasonably calm.

"Well, yes," replied the doctor.

Fräulein Stein continued to stare in disbelief. "You put it back, didn't you?" she wanted to know.

"Of course we put it back!" shouted the doctor, using up his fair share of disbelief.

"Okay, okay," said Fräulein Stein, putting up her hands in a gesture to suggest that everyone should just calm down at this point. "Don't look at me like I'm some kind of idiot. I think we both need a reality check on this one."

Dr. Pretorius shook his head. "Perhaps you need some time alone, to adjust," he suggested. The doctor then led Dieter and Friedrich out into the hallway, where he closed the door behind them.

"There is something wrong with that girl," he said to the two henchmen once they were alone in the corridor. "I cannot conceive what might have triggered such a dramatic change in Dr. Engel. She seems almost... American. We must watch her closely. Report to me immediately any further strange behavior!"

The doctor pulled a key from his pocket, and used it to lock the door to Fräulein Stein's bedchamber. The three then left the corridor.

Within her bedchamber, Fräulein Stein heard the key turn in the lock. Already feeling doubts about her circumstances, she raced to the exit and, finding it bolted from the other side, pounded on the door in frustration.

Fräulein Stein's unchecked, undead strength knocked the door out of its frame and sent it flying across the hall. She cautiously poked her head out into the empty corridor, afraid she might be in trouble if anyone remained to see. Seeing no one, she crept across the hall, picked up the massive oak door, and replaced it into its frame as she sheepishly returned to her room.