You Changed Me

7. Four Months and Counting

"Don't do it again without contacting someone. We thought you were dead," Anti decided not to point out how Darks voice had cracked on the last word or how his colorful double aura had wavered strangely. Instead, he nodded his head in understanding and stayed silent.

...

4 Months Later

...

Ethan was better. He had a system.

Get up. Don't think about Jack. Eat breakfast. Go to work. Avoid thinking about Jack. Go home. Don't think about Jack. Eat supper. Go to bed. Repeat.

It confused him why thinking about Jack still hurt so much. They knew each other for a few days. Just over a week. And yet his soul ached, his heart hurt, his eyes watered even if he hears his name. Which was a surprising amount, he hadn't realized how popular the name Jack was till he lost one... till he lost his Jack.

He frowned as he took a sip of his coffee. He had also taken to going down the alley he'd found Jack in as if just by walking down it he might find him again. Sometimes he thought about what might happen if he were to find Jack again, have their first meeting repeat itself like some strange groundhog day plot. He figured if it meant seeing Jack again he wouldn't mind.

He would then sit in his chair for hours upon end trying to figure out why he felt that way. Because, though he may be bi, he was never in a relationship with Jack. Nor had he even thought of having one until he left. And that would send him spiraling into worse and worse thoughts as he worked.

Thoughts like what if I'm not good enough and did he secretly hate me and did he only stay because he had nowhere else to go but he couldn't wait to leave? Sometimes he would proceed to burst into tears before falling asleep, which would confuse him, even more, when he woke up. So, he decided to just let it happen and not dwell on it. It's not like he could go to a therapist and tell them how he was hung up on a guy- who could be a criminal for all he knew- who stayed at his home for a week because he was hurt but didn't want to go to a hospital. They would label him as crazy or lock him up for helping a criminal, he was sure of it. Even if he wasn't sure Jack was evil or something, he was just very beaten up, and refused to go to a hospital, and took one of his knives when he left.

Ethan sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. It's been four months. I need to stop thinking about him and get back to work. Why am I even thinking about all this shit anyway? He thought to himself as he pushed his chair back and made his way to the coffee machine. He needed something to distract himself, he still had to be here working for another few hours on his boss' company videos.

At least his job was a creative one. He'd have died a long time ago if he didn't like his job- and wowie, those are morbid thoughts, Ethan. You should just stop thinking now and go back to your funny ad before you think of something that you should very much not do. He took a long gulp of his cup, grimacing when he realized it was still as black as the night. He hurried to refill his rather large gulp before decorating it with sugar and a bit of cream.

He took another sip and let out a noise of approval, the sweet and bitter tastes mixing together pleasantly across his mouth. He made his way back to his desk and did his best to focus on his job. He had a wonderfully funny and completely effective ad to make.

Ethan worked for hours before he finished, glad he wouldn't be handing this particular assignment at the last second. He'd been doing that too many times to be happy about his work the past few months. He leaned back and sighed contentedly when he finished. He was done. Of course, he knew since he had the time he would be going over it the next day, just in case. But for now... for now, he was done. And he couldn't be happier.

He frowned. Happy wasn't really the word for it though, was it? Ethan groaned as his content state was disheveled a bit. Why can't I just let myself pretend to be happy? I did a good! I finished this latest project with time to spare! He sighed and went to take a sip of his coffee, forgetting it was long gone. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, before sitting up as a co-worker walked by.

The guy had short hair, it's tips dyed a frosty blonde, and he had a full, dark beard. He didn't really know the guy, like, at all, so he was surprised when he stopped at his desk and stared at him for a moment. Ethan's vision went hazy for a second before he smiled awkwardly and waved at the guy. The guy blinked at him silently, before extending his hand.

"I'm Felix Kjellberg," he said, his voice holding an accent Ethan couldn't quite place. Ethan shook the guy's hand, albeit a bit hesitant since he didn't know why the guy was there or why he spontaneously decided to talk to Ethan now.

"I'm, uh, I'm Ethan Nestor," he said in response. The guy nodded as if he'd already known, and stared at him with blue eyes that looked like they held far too much knowledge for someone who looked so young. He couldn't help but wonder why.

"How are you?" Felix asked, and Ethan's head tilted, his lips pursing as he thought. Then he shrugged, unsure. He looked away to his empty coffee mug a moment, contemplating his verbal answer, before looking back at the frosty-haired man,

"I... could be better," he started, his eyes flickering around the man's face, unable to stare at his old, knowledgeable eyes for too long, "But, may I ask, why you are here?"

Felix seemed to be taken aback by the question, staring at him as if the answer were obvious. Did I miss a memo? Are we supposed to be working together on something? Ethan blinked back, before smiling shyly.

"Did I miss something?" he asked innocently, and Felix shook his head gently as if to say No, no, I just forgot everyone else doesn't know everything like me and my creepy eyes. Okay, so maybe Felix wasn't thinking exactly that, but he could be! It's not like Ethan was a mind reader. Felix then opened his mouth and said something Ethan didn't think he'd ever hear, much less hear from a stranger in his work.

"You know Jack."