Roses

You And Me Both, Bud

Monica/Shawn/Other

Love isn't what it seems. At least, not in the way the public seems to portray it. Love is blind. It is unfair as well as unkind. It chooses only the finest of people to share the real gift of it with.

I'm jealous of it...

I'm jealous of the chosen ones. They really do look happy. I...I just look like I am lost. I'm lost in my own thoughts as they are eating me alive. Love isn't really my thing because it always seems to come back hurting me a little bit harder each time it comes to visit. Who am I kidding? So does everything else.

It's no surprise I am even here at this hour, sitting alone, in a coffee shop, getting lost in the abyss of my head. Everyone finds coffee shops very nostalgic, but I have always loved the rain. The way you can hear every drop hit the surface, the smell of the sidewalk, the grey skies. Sometimes, the rain is the only thing that can save me from breathing the usual busy air.

I work as an interviewer and a former journalist. Probably the hardest thing I have ever decided to do, but if you love a job like mine then you manage. Sleeping isn't done much. You don't really have time for a nap neither a relationship, but hey not everyone is perfect. And in hell, was he ever going to be more than perfect.

My grandmother once told me that love is about finding the one person who makes your heart complete. Someone who makes you a better person then you ever dreamed you could be. What she didn't tell me that it was going to hurt when a cold hearted boy was going to run away with the only light you had left. Along with the car you worked your ass off to get.

'Miss, would you like another cup of coffee?'
'Mrs. Green that would be lovely, but how many times will you keep being formal with me? Monica, please.'
'I'm sorry my love. I'll try my best to remember. I'm a bit too old school.'
'Your old school chivalry is wonderful Mrs. Green. You remind me of my father. That man could charm anyone who crossed his path. That's how my mom fell head over heels for him.'

She looked at me with confusion. I'd come here long enough to get to know Mrs. Green, but she didn't really "know me." I'm not really open about my feelings ever since my dad died. It's just something that I would rather keep private.

'My dad, he um...he died when I was ten. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer and was estimated six months to live. He didn't make it to the six months given. He passed away and ever since it has been me and my mom.'
'Do you miss him?'
'Oh boy, of course I do! If more than anything I'd love for him to be here, with me, helping me through my struggles.'
'I'm sure that wherever he is, he is watching down on you and thinking of how proud he is of his beautiful little girl- who has grown and got through things without him even being physically present.'
'Thank you for always being so dearly sweet to me, Mrs. Green. I appreciate it a lot.'
'I'm not wrong dear. Anyway, I'll leave you to it. Looks like you have a lot to finish at the moment. I'll be back with your coffee dear."