what happened to the days where i'd look forward to going to school? when i was ecstatic to leave my home? when my bed was the LAST place i wanted to spend my days?
how about when a day off of school meant time to drink hot chocolate and go out in the snow? why is it that now these days are spent rolling back to sleep and spending the day alone in my room, eating, reading, and being on my phone?
what has my life come to?
i dread the things i used to look forward to.
they have become a burden.
i have become tired.
tired.
so damn tired.
so damn tired of this world, of the high ass expectations for me.
of the constant pressure to do my best.
i find myself slipping down a slippery path.
how do they do it?
the people we read about in our history textbooks?
they made a name for themselves.
activists refused to conform to the restraints of society.
why am i expected to conform to who i'm supposed to be?
expected to be happy.
expected to be bubbly and bright.
expected to achieve high grades all the time.
expected to be the best at everything i do.
expected to have my future planned out.
expected to have fun at dances.
expected to go to parties.
expected to have a life.
well, i'm sorry, but this life has gone on for quite some time and i don't know how much longer i can go on pretending.
pretending that i'm not constantly anxious.
pretending that i'm comfortable in social situations.
pretending that i'm strong.
pretending that i'm not depressed.
pretending that i'm happy.
pretending that i'm not asexual.
pretending that i don't need help.
pretending that everything's okay.
i need help.
anything.
help me.
