𝗕𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 // 𝘉𝘦 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘭

5 - Worry (J)

Since Jake and Rich are close friends, they know a lot of each other's secrets. Not all, but sometimes it feels like that. An unbreakable friendship that not even a house burning down can tear.

Jake knows I like Rich and he's practically been coaching me on him. Jake's told me things about Rich that I keep in mind for... almost always.

When Rich introduced me to SQUIPs, he implied depression. Jake recently confirmed that he did and still does, along with anxiety.

I bring this up because I sit next to Rich in class. He's been... down in the dumps lately. Right now, his head's on his desk. Mrs. Jacobson doesn't care, she won't comment on it. She won't call him out. If no students get him up, he won't get up.

I've probably been staring at him for a couple minutes with my eyebrows furrowed, which is weird. 'Is he asleep? Crying?'
I reached over, poking him softly.

His head lifted up after a few pokes, dull eyes staring back at me. There was no spark. His light brown eyes just held sadness.
I bit my bottom lip, meeting his eyes. The eyes that I could stare into for hours, were... not happy. And it actually broke my heart.

I didn't want to get caught for talking in class, but this was important. "Rich," I whispered softly.
"Hm..?"
"I, uh... meet me in the hall after class."
His eyebrows furrowed as mine had, nodding. He focused his attention back to the front of the class, but mine slipped over to the clock.

More time than I had originally thought passed during the period because now there were about 5 minutes left.
'Shit, what am I going to ask him? "Are you okay?", of course he's going to say yes.. uh... hug him. Maybe get rejected, but he looks like he needs one. I think.' I argued with myself in my mind.

I took the rest of the class time planning out scenarios of which I could speak, missing the teacher's dismissal.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me out of my thoughts and looking up at the distraction.
"Hey, uh... Jeremy, class's over."
Rich. 
"Oh," Shit. "Thanks, sorry." I responded, quickly standing up and shoving the papers that had been scattered on my desk back into my school binder.
"So, uhm.. what- why'd you wanna talk?"
"Just a sec, uh..."
Gosh, how many times had the both of us said 'uh'? I'm so awkward, this is going to be the death of me.

I waved my hand, motioning for the shorter boy to follow me out of the room.
We made our way through the crowded hall of Middle Borough High, stopping at my locker. 'Woah, wait. He actually followed me the whole time.' I realized, cheeks heating up slightly.
I quickly shoved my things into the locker before turning towards him, mission in mind.

"Hey, you looked terrible in class." (Beat.) "I mean, no, not terrible, just..." I huffed. "Is everything alright?"

Rich was visibly at a loss for words, and that just made me feel like shit. The wrong words had come out of my mouth, and made me sound like an asshole. "I, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it that wa-"
"No, no, no! It's fine, I'm fine. S-seriously, don't worry about it, Jeremy."
"Are you sure?"
"Mhm, totally sure... totally fine."

We both went silent, and I wasn't convinced in the least. He looked extremely insecure, quite uncomfortable, clenching the straps of his backpack.

"He does that a lot. Nervous tick."
I remembered Jake telling me.

I took a step forward, lightly putting my hands and his shoulders and bringing him closer. It wasn't even a hug, but I was too nervous to actually pull him into a full hug.
I didn't have to, though. I felt his arms quickly wrap around me, face bury in my collarbone.
I moved one arm to his head, the other resting on his back and holding him close.
This was nicer than I expected. I felt like I could hold him forever, like I wanted to keep him warm and safe, so he didn't have to hide whatever he currently was.

I lowered my head a little, resting it on his head. He wasn't saying anything, just standing still and holding me close.
My heart was racing, and I was sure he could feel it. I ran a hand through his hair, trying to distract him from the beating of my chest. I heard a soft laugh come from him, making me smile.

A few girls passed us, whispering to each other, and I vaguely heard something like, "God, that's gay."

My face flushed when I heard them, but Rich seemed comfortable. We needed to get to the next class, but he wasn't moving. I bit my lip softly, nervously, rubbing his back.
"Hey, uh... I love- this and all, but we should get going..." I suggested, pulling my head away.
"Oh. Yeah," He agreed, letting go of me.

"See you at lunch?"
"Mhm." He confirmed with a smile.

We parted our ways, but my cheeks were still tinted pink.
I let out a soft, 'aggh' as I hid my face in my hands.

Why are these feelings so strong?

(889 words)