The playboys bitch

Zachary's love dilema

Lately my enthusiasm for not wanting to get out of bed has been spiraling down the drain. I don't want to eat, to talk to socialize with my family or friends for what? it's too sad the memories are still fresh in my mind. I don't feel like torturing my self by remembering those humiliating thoughts anymore.

I guess you can say that I'm depressed, but seriously how can you not be, when you get a little taste of happiness, when you feel like you finally fit in and think you're doing something right in life and as soon as you get it, it's gone? just my luck stuff like that is bound to follow me till death.

Let me tell you about myself. I'm a wallflower I guess you can say I'm way too shy to speak up and say what's on my mind, so instead I don't. I keep to myself because if I say anything I feel like people are going to judge me and think I'm stupid so I just think it's better off not being noticeable. My name is Zachary Matthews I'm 17 years old and in 5'5" yes I know I'm short, but what can I do about it? I was born this way. I have eyes so gray that they can almost be mistaken for blue eyes. I don't have the best body, but neither am I fat. I'm the slender type of boy with a "cute bubble butt" or I've been told. my hair is curly and it covers my eyes which I like because I swear that ANYONE is able to read me like an open book! My hair is chestnut brown lightly blond in the sun, my nose is what you would refer to as a "button nose" and my skin has a creamy almost pale look that makes people think that I've never stepped foot outside my house. how I wish that was possible but no I have to go to the most dreaded place where not one single teenage soul ever wants to be; High School. Overall I have pixie like features, which I hate because I feel like no one ever takes me serious and will think I'm too fragile and will somehow "break".

I guess it's true but I just want to fit in an not feel left out. I mean come one who wants to be the odd one out. Anyway I'm a junior in creeks riverside high school in a normal sized town in Chicago city. I don't mind high school it's just the kids I mind. Like why do the girls have to be such (pardon my language) sluts, but come on you're a teenager STOP hooking up with EVERYTHING that has a dick! and visa versa with the guys too. I've never had a girlfriend before and I haven't really gave much taught to that before, but seeing couples at my school kissing, and groping does not appeal to me specially when the girls get all bitchy and try to boss the guys around. And poor guys that try everything to make their ungrateful girlfriends happy like I find that so adorable. Maybe I'm gay? but no guy has ever caught my attention before. Except the boys from one direction, but they are just gods compared to everyone else! I mean how can you not think they are not attractive?!

Why am I depressed you might ask? well for one simple reason, Hunter De Franco. Well a simple some one that is not so simple after all due to his extremely good looks and masculine aura that pours out of him so naturally. There's something about him that caught my attention the first time I laid eyes on him I was actually quite shocked and hypnotized when he entered the classroom twenty minutes late might I add. Summer was over and it was officially first day of school to all the students at riverside high school.

I was dreading this day since I found out that my best friend Bethany was not in any of my regular classes except for gym. *sigh* at least I got to see her at school one hour a day. Also in lunch which EVERYONE has at the same time, now I don't know whose brilliant little mind came up with that idea of putting all 3,000+ students the same lunchtime because it was packed EVERYWHERE! like I cant even buy my food with out my little self being pushed and shoved or with out several people cutting in front of me. I truly detest high school. That is why I decide to bring food from home or go out in lunch. That and because school lunch is not that appetizing and you probably end up with food poisoning if you consume those awful things they call food.

Anyway, the only person I trust is my best friend Bethany Ivy. We've known each other since childhood. Her mom and my mom instantly clicked as best friend when they became neighbors and found out they were both pregnant and had the same amount of weeks. Bethany is what you would call "queen bee" at school. She's head cheerleader and is loved by everyone. I guess the only reason why I'm her friend is because I know her since we were in diapers! but to be honest she's just popular because of her good looks, truthfully she's a bitch. Not to me of course but to other people that she doesn't find useful in her life or won't benefit her in any way. She treats me like her little brother even though I'm older than her by a couple of hours.