Euphoric but Empty

Phil

Phil didn't sleep at all. He closed his eyes once or twice but he kept reliving the scene. Dan falling to the floor, his dad yelling and screaming, Phil's heartbeat racing from fear. Phil was just staring at his blank white ceiling worrying about Dan. He had tried to call him 3 times but had given up. Dan was probably asleep at his house trying to forget the horrible events of tonight. Phil made one decision that night: Dan was, and probably always would be the most important thing in Phil's life. Phil vowed to protect him as best he could. He vowed that Dan would never feel alone. Phil would be there for Dan, always.
Well, morning came and Phil hadn't slept a wink. He had to go to school, because he had missed yesterday but he vowed to meet Dan after. He shot him a quick text:
Phil: I don't know if you'll get this but meet me at the front of your school gates this afternoon. As soon as school lets out.
Phil smiles at the text. Then he's forced to get up and get ready. He arrives at school and is immediately greeted by Louise.
"Hey Phil! What's been up? We missed you yesterday!" Louise said in her usual enthusiastic manner. Phil's mind however is in a completely different place. He is mumbling g under his breath. Creating and recreating various lifetime movies about Dan's current situation in his head. Louise is mildly concerned. Phil was usually happy and go lucky, but today he barely makes eye contact, that is if he looks up at all. Louise and Phil's other friends decide to address the issue at lunch.
"Phil, are you ok? You've been acting kinda strange." Tom says. His acknowledgement is met with various nods of approval from the rest of the group. Phil isn't paying attention. He is only concerned with Dan. He begins to hear various whispers from the group.
"I don't understand... he's never like this... Phil is usually so happy..." The last one made Phil scoff internally. If only his friends understood. They thought he was constantly happy but had no idea how he felt inside. Phil listened to the other whispers and all the stress from Dan's situation, the anger at his friends lack of understanding, and the emptiness of his soul bubbles up slowly. All the things he had kept bottled up and hidden away for many years bursted out of him.
"Shut up! SHUT UP!!! YOU DONT KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT ME!!! YOU ALL THINK IM SO FUCKING HAPPY ALL THE TIME BUT IVE HAD THIS DARKNESS EATING AWAY AT ME FOR YEARS AND YOU NEVER NOTICED!!!!! THE ONLY PERSON TO NOTICE ISNT EVEN AT THIS SCHOOL AND HE HAS HIS OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS AND IVE BEEN CARRYING THIS WEIGHT FOR YEARS NOW BUT I CANT TAKE IT!!!!! IM DONE!!!!!" Phil screamed. He shot up from his place at the table, leaving his lunch tray and his horrified friends behind. Phil spent the rest of the day in complete isolation. Ignoring any and all concerned and frightened glances from his friends. When school let out he climbed into his car and just screamed and sobbed. He kicked the seats and punched the steering wheel. It must have been 20 minutes of hysteria before he heard a sudden knock on his window. He looked up to see a pair of gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. Dan. He thought. Dan looked about the same except for the noticeable red hand shaped mark on his right cheek and the many bruises sprinkling his otherwise flawless complexion. Phil wanted to kiss away all of Dan's pain and sorrow. Instead, he stood up and pulled Dan into a tight hug. Sobbing into his shoulder. Phil melted onto the bench next to them and Dan sat down too, holding Phil tightly. The two sobbed in perfect harmony. Holding Dan just felt right, like they were two puzzle pieces. Made for each other.
After they finished sobbing they went to the
local restaurant and sat down to have a chat.
"Dan, what are you going to do about custody?" Phil asked out of concern for his friend.
"I don't know. I hate my mom and I'm sure as hell not going to live with my dad after last night." Dan said. "But, Phil, that can all be fixed. Right now I want to know why you're upset. You've always been a ray of sunshine. With a couple clouds, but still." Dan said touching Phil's hand. Phil took one look at the damn chocolate eyes and couldn't help but spill. He told Dan about how he could never find true happiness and about the darkness that gnaws at him relentlessly. Dan listened intently. Offering Phil as much comfort as he could. At one point he moved next to Phil so he could put an arm around him. Phil's eyes had begun to well with tears. He'd never told anyone this before but Dan made him feel so safe and secure, he knew it was the right thing to do. He didn't know what he would do if Dan didn't get the custody agreement sorted. Just then he had a brilliant idea. He shot straight up out of his seat.
"I need to go." Phil said. Dan looked mildly confused. "I'll talk to you later." Phil said and immediately headed for home. He needed to have a chat with his mom and then make a call.
To a certain divorce lawyer.