A collection of my poems

A letter to my father

My brain, my brain is trying to process

Sometimes it's hard to let go

Of parts that will be with you forever

Parts of you in me I endeavor

I can't lose my grip on you

Especially you

From the second I came into this world

You did everything you could do

To catch me when I fall

Save me from all madness

You'd come when I'd call despite all the vastness

When you were suffering and told me to let go
I knew it was the meds and not your righteous soul
And every time I hear your name
I'd feel nothing but guilt

Guilt for all of the time I took for granted
For every second I let waste away
But I'm not getting off that easy
For my last name is your name

But that is not the only thing you gave

For you gave me your heart
You gave me your smile
The things I admired for a long while

You once asked me
"Why don't you speak spanish"
For the upcoming years who'd known
My language could have vanished

Growing up being who I am was the hardest
"Kids are cruel" my mother would say
But I still didn't understand
Why it was hard to accept those parts of myself

The parts of me that screamed,
"Soy de San Luis"
The strong accent in which I had to supress

Hurt you because those were the parts you hoped I'd possess

Pretty soon I realized

I am the blood of my father

His heart and laugh too