A kind of journal I guess

Is it worth it?

She's completely done.

Living this way wasn't even living, it felt more like torture. Countless times a day she got told 'change the way you see things' and 'it's your choice to be so sad'. If only they knew what it was like. If only they could feel the things She feels. Life would be so much more equal. She could perhaps feel less alone. She often finds herself longing the answer to one question and one question alone: 'Is it really worth it?'.

Is it? She cannot figure it out. There will be days where she is smothered with love by her beautiful friends and there will be other days where they will ignore her and make her feel unwanted without realising. So is it worth it? Life? Trying?

She hates almost everything about herself. It's getting boring. It gets to the point of feeling nauseous whenever she looks in the mirror. Forgetting her own name because of the way people don't care to talk about her when she's nearby. She forgets that 'Andrea ' is her own name and not someone else's.

Andrea feels as though the torturous life will never stop unless the life stops itself. She hears the same things from her friends day in and day out. 'You are awesome ' and 'life would be so boring without you here' But Andrea finds it extremely difficult to believe when she knows exactly what it would be like.

Andrea is only so young. 15 years. 15 years in this miserable planet. She wants-nae, needs to stop working all together. The pain of existence it too much. You may call her weak and you may call her cowardly, it doesn't bother her. Maybe life isn't just for everyone. What people don't seem to understand is just exactly how she feels and why that impacts her life so heavily.