Keep Holding On

Part Four

We sat at the table as I told him everything Carrie had said. I was thrilled, I couldn't wait for Monday to come, so I could start my new postion. He was genuinely excited for me, telling me how proud of me he is. He has really turned out to be a very good friend.

"So, there is a carnival in town. We're all going. I was wondering if you wanted to be go with me, as in, be my date." He looked at me, his eyes intense and I nodded before I could think about it. "Good. Go get ready. We leave in an hour. Oh, and before we leave, I have a surprise for you." He kissed my forehead and walked out without another word.

I stood there, dazed for a minute as to what this means. I really needed to talk to him about Jason before this went any further, but I was afraid once he found out, he wouldn't want me anymore. I shook the thought away and rushed upstairs to change. Just some simple shorts and tank, nothing outrageous. I braided my hair down my back and ran back downstairs. I had managed to buy a new phone a couple weeks ago, so I grabbed it and tucked it into my back pocket before walking out of the house. I froze when I saw the BMW sitting in my driveway. Ronnie was leaning against it with a huge smile on his face.

"What is this?" I walked down to him, looking at him like he was crazy.

"I never drive it. You need a car. So, here. I want you to use it." He handed me the keys and laughed as I shook my head.

"Ronnie, I can't do that. It's way too much." I was flabbergasted that he would even offer to let me use it 

"No it's not, Syd. It's just a loaner. Just until you can get one. Let me do this for you, beathiful." There it was again, that word that made my heart race. I smiled and took the keys. Moving closer to him, I leaned up and kissed his cheek. His stubble tickling my lips.

"Thank you, Ronnie." He nodded and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tight.

"Come on, let's go."

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"Oh my God, that was so much fun!" I told him as we exited the roller coaster. I took his hand and lead him to another ride. It felt so good to just have fun and be there with him. He got stopped a few times by some fans asking for pictures and autographs. Which he happily did, with me standing away from all of it. I didn't want to be included with that part of his life. I loved being in his life outside of all that, his everyday life.

He walked back to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we made our way to a game. "Alright, babe. I'm going to win you something. What do you want?" I saw the huge dolphin hanging there and pointed to it. "You would want the biggest one, wouldn't you?" I laughed as he started throwing the rings. It took him four tries and he finally got it. Smiling at me as the guy handed it to me.

"Thank you." He pointed to his cheek and I leaned up to kiss it. At the last possible moment, he turned his head and my lips landed on his. It was a sweet and simple kiss, but I felt my lips burning, the heat spreading through my body.

He pulled away and smirked before grabbing my hand and leading us to the car. We drove back, blasting music and singing along to the songs. I always had an amazing time with him, he always made me laugh and tried his hardest to make me comfortable. He held my hand the whole way there, bringing my hand to his mouth and kissing it a few times.

He parked the car in his garage and walked me to my house, singing and spinning me around while trying not to drop my dolphin. I couldn't help but laugh as he stopped in the middle of the street, pulling me close and slowly dancing with me. I laughed and pushed him away, making my way to the house and opening the door.

He followed me in, closing the door and setting the dolphin in the chair. He turned and looked at me. "Come here, beautiful." I walked into his arms and he slowly started moving with me, our bodies swaying back and forth, rubbing against each other. He tipped my head up with his fingers and his lips were on mine, in a scorching kiss. I had never felt anything like it. I couldn't get enough, I couldn't get close enough to him, even though I tried.

His hands undid my braid and he ran his hand through my hair, I moaned when he gently pulled it. He walked me back to the stairs, laying me on them, as his mouth left mine to wonder along my neck. He left opened mouth kisses along it, while gently biting every now and then. I got lost in the feeling of his hands and mouth on me, his lips leaving mine following the line of my v neck shirt, kissing along it.

Suddenly, I saw flashes of Jason and I tensed up, trying to push him off of me. "Ronnie. Stop." He didn't, he kept kissing my chest, pulling my top down a little more. I started panicking. "Ronnie! Please, Stop!" He heard the panic in my voice and lifted his head to look at me.

I pushed him off of me and stood up, my hands shaking. "Baby, are you alright?" He tried to touch my face and I flinched away, afraid I had pissed him off. His eyes widened and he pulled me to him. "God, what did he do to you?" I pushed him away.

"I need you to go." I stepped back as he moved closer. "Please, Ronnie, God. I need you to go!" He shook his head and walked to the door and looked at me one more time, regret in his eyes, before he walked out. I let out a little scream and locked the door before the tears started falling.  It was never going to be alright. Would I ever be normal again?

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I didn't sleep very much that night. I got up and decided that I needed to tell him. Maybe that would help me, if he understood what I was running from, what he would have to deal with if he wanted me. I walked outside and across the street, knocking lightly on the door, hoping for a moment he didn't answer.

The door opened and Ronnie stood there, his jaw clenched as he stepped back and let me in. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He didn't say anything, just started walking to the back door and I followed. He sat on one of the couchs and I sat next to him, not knowing where to start. "I'm sorry about last night." I couldn't look at him. "You were right. I was with a man for four years that hurt me, a lot." I took a deep breath and waited for him to say something. "I'm trying to get over it. I left him when he was out of town. One of my only friends, helping me get away from him." I felt his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it tight.

"I understand, Sydney. That bruise you had, that was from him, wasn't it?" I nodded.

"It happened a couple days before he left. I said something he didn't like. It's hard to remember sometimes." He pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me.

"Look, I want you. I'm not going to lie about it. You need to know that. I'm willing to wait as long as you need me too." I looked at him amazed.

"I don't understand you at all. I thought when I told you, you'd be gone." He smiled sadly and swiped his fingers down my face.

"I don't scare easily, beautiful. You've intrigued me since the moment I saw you. You're not like any girl I've ever meant. I want to see where this goes, but it'll be on your terms. Not mine. I can wait till you're ready." I leaned up and kissed him gently, he returned the kiss, his hand cupping my cheek.

I curled up next to him, his arms wrapped around me as we sat there, just enjoying being together. I closed my eyes, hoping that things would finally start to get normal for me again.

We talked for long time. Him telling me that there were certain things I needed to know about his past. He told me all of it. About his childhood, his mother. About the drug use, his time in prison. Then he told me about the accusations that he hit one of his ex girlfriends. He assured me that it was unfounded. It never happened. I couldn't picture that, he didn't seem that way. The way he was with me, how gentle and understanding he is with me. I laid against him, my head on his shoulder as we sat there most of the afternoon talking about our pasts. This was one of my favorite times with him. I could listen to him for hours. We made our way into the house eventally and he walked me home. He kissed me gently and then he walked out the door.