lost ↠ d.t.

Chapter 5 : Blood

Which leads us to this very moment.

Ethan bawling on my shoulder, his tight grip unfortunately not loosening one bit.

Enora crying in Grayson's arms, feeling sorry for myself and for Carrie.

Caleb gingerly holding Cameron as he looks over at the ambulance driving far away in the distance, tears running down his red cheeks.

I swallow the heavy lump in the back of my throat as I watch the ambulance driving away as well, knowing that my dead sister is inside it. A tear finally manages to slip out of my eye and spill onto my cheek, running along my skin down to my jaw. I sniffle silently, or at least that's what I thought since Ethan pulls away and stares at me, his hands not leaving my shoulders.

I jump lightly when his fingers runs across my cheek to wipe the tear away, I snap my head up to him, my bottom lip threatening to shake. His glossy eyes stare in the depth of mines before he finally speaks up.

"I know that it hurts. I know it breaks you in ways I could probably never understand; she was closer to you then she was to me. But I still loved her. With all my heart. So if you ever need someone..."

I know he's referring to Grayson not being able to feel what I feel.

"...I'll always be here for you. Day or night. I'm just a call away." his fingers tighten their grip on my shoulders and this time I don't stop myself from crying. I press my forehead against his chest and fist the material of his shirt as I cry harder than ever. I squeeze my eyes shut, my loud yet rare sobs piercing through the silence.

I scream at times, hitting his chest with all the force left inside of me. He stays still, eyes closed, but tears still manage to fall down his cheeks.

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Grayson's POV

She was awfully quiet that night. She kept remembering the eyes of her dead sister staring straight back into hers. When we got back home she locked herself up in her bedroom. I stayed outside her door all night, eventually sleeping against the door.

I would sometimes wake up to the sound of her cries. Standing up, I would beg for her to open up, but she wouldn't listen. I was so scared she was going to do something stupid; such as cutting her wrists open; but very happily she didn't.

She just cried. She was broken.

Around 4 AM, the door finally opened, making me stumble back and immediately stand up in surprise. There she was standing, small and fragile in front of me, her gaze wandering somewhere around my stomach. I knew she wanted to keep everything inside, but I couldn't just stand there and do nothing. She had to say something. It scared the shit out of me. She kept staring blankly at the ground, tears on the verge of showing.

Since not a single word escaped her mouth, I decided to break the silence.

"Sky..." I murmured, walking her back in her bedroom and carefully closing the door behind me. I sat at the edge of her bed, my hands resting on each side of my body.

She turned around and stood all by herself in the darkness. Only a thin stray of light crept through the shutters of her window, making the moonlight strike different angles on her face.

"You need to talk to me, baby." I whispered calmly, motioning for her to come forward. She took a few steps closer until our knees bumped together. She kept looking down, her eyes drained out of colour. I gently took her hands in mine, caressing her soft skin with my thumbs.

"I know that what we saw tonight is probably going to stay in our heads for the rest of our lives. And I know how much you loved your sister, but I need to know, Sky. I need to know what's going on in there." I gently tapped her forehead with the tip of my index. She sat down next to me, almost in a robotic kind of way. Emotionless. Lifeless.

It felt like her voice was not the only thing she lost that night. She lost her soul.

It died. Slowly. Just like her sister...

My hand met her back, where I started to rub her skin in up and down motions, to ease the pain, I guess. My fingers trailed up to her shoulder and I gently pulled her towards me. She fell into my arms, her tiny hands instinctively gripping around my neck and her cold nose bumping on my collarbone. It's only then that I could feel her tears dripping down on my bare skin.

I closed my eyes and swallowed the heavy gulp at the back of my throat.

It hurt me to see her like this. I just wanted to hug her for the rest of my life, or at least until the pain washed away... to tell her that everything will be okay, that she won't eternally live in the darkness.

Maybe that was all she was seeing.

Darkness. Black. Heavy. Dripping black paint surrounding her. As dark as the walls she built up around her to protect herself from ever caring for someone again.

Scarlett. Red. Thick. Dripping blood on her sister's body. Printing her memory.

Blood on her hands. Blood on her arms.

As she held her sister's body hopelessly.

As she screamed. And as the darkness consumed her a little more by the minute until the police arrived.

I kept rewinding the scene. When she looked down at the blood on her hands, her eyes broadened and her mouth fell open in horror, but no scream escaped her mouth. Instead, she fell to her knees, her gaze fixated on the blood dripping down her forearms. Tears have stopped running down her face. Her eyes dried out. She was too scared to cry. She was too scared to scream.

She wanted her sister back.

But deep down, she knew it was impossible, and that's what broke her the most.

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bye! ☻

published on : March 15th, 2018.