Buried (a Creek fic)

12. Shame

"I'm not sure if that's kind or stupid," imparted Craig, picking up one of the rocks from before.

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"Well," he began, watching as the rock sailed through the air and crashed into the icy pond, "if there's something you need help with, you shouldn't just discard it because you think you'll be some type of burden on other people. That's just dumb."

"Don't you d-do that?"

Craig froze, thinking it over. "No. Why would you think that?"

"Look," Tweek avered, "I kn-know I came on k-kind of strong yes-yesterday, but you cl-clearly need some h-help."

"Gee, thanks," he grumbled, examining one of the ashy-grey rocks in his hand.

"You know I don't - er - mean i-it in a b-bad way," Tweek said. "I just... I d-don't know. I d-don't think peo-people are assholes un-unless something either m-made them that way, o-or s-something's wrong with them."

"That's not me," Craig smirked. "I was born an asshole, so I'll die an asshole."

"Y-Yeah, right," he challenged. "I'm s-sure you're not f-fully an asshole."

Craig rolled his eyes, the smirk still displayed on his face, as he chucked the rock into the lake. As it crashed into the water, Tweek jumped a little and a squeak left his mouth. Stripe looked up at him and nudged his knee.

"Th-This dog is so s-sweet," Tweek gushed, patting his head.

"Yeah, when he's not 'attacking' you."

"Hush."

Craig laughed and gazed down at Stripe, who was licking Tweek's hand. He had always wanted a pet, but his parents would never allow him to have one. He remembered being in fourth grade and begging his parents for a guinea pig, but they never gave in to his wish.

"Y-You know what's w-weird?" Tweek asked.

"Hmm?"

"The on-only time I've seen you g-genuinely happy is when y-you're with Str-Stripe," he noted.

"Yeah, but we've barely been around each other. You wouldn't really know what I'm like when I'm not around you," Craig pointed out.

"W-Well," he started, uneasily fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt. "I kn-know this sounds k-kind of weird, but I n-notice things about people. I d-don't know why, b-but I like to observe people, I guess. I like to - er - study th-them. I kn-know I probably s-sound like a cr-creep, but I l-like to know wh-what people are feeling. Like for example, i-if I'm surrounded by people in school, I'll look ar-around at everyone and I can t-tell things about them."

That didn't come as too much of a shock to Craig, considering he had noticed Clyde acting strange and his bruised body. He wondered if he did this with everyone. Maybe Clyde wasn't the only person Tweek had talked to the counselor about...

"Alright, so what do you notice about me?" challenged Craig, a mix of doubt and curiosity in his voice.

Tweek paused for a moment. "W-Well... you're one of t-the harder ones to fig-figure out."

He halfway smiled at this, glad to hear that he was as unpredictable and expressionless as he aimed to be.

"But - " Craig's attention perked up as Tweek finished, "I c-can tell that you're not h-happy all the t-time. Th-There's this thing that sh-shows in y-your eyes, when no one's p-paying attention to you. It's like... I d-don't know. Loneliness, maybe."

"You think I'm lonely?" he asked sharply.

He wasn't lonely... right? No, not at all, no way. He didn't need anyone. Why would he be lonely?

"I-I d-didn't - GAH - m-mean it l-l-like that!" Tweek spluttered, his hands trembling together with his nails digging painfully into his skin. "I'm - I'm sorry, Craig. I-I didn't m-mean to - "

"Hey, calm down," Craig told him gently, putting a hand on his.

Tweek flinched at the sudden touch and then froze for a moment, eyes fixed on where Craig's hand was resting on top of his. His hands relaxed and unclenched from each other, causing Craig to retract his hand. Small dents from where Tweek's nails had pierced the skin of his hands were visible to the both of them, though Craig averted his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Tweek said after a few moments of silence, his voice coming out in a whisper.

"Don't be," Craig assured him.

"S-Sometimes I, w-well you know, sp-spazz out," he mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

"Tweek," he said, turning to face him, "you don't need to apologize for things that you can't really control."

Tweek's hands went back to fidgeting in his lap with his fixed eyes twitching and barely coherent, subconscious noises escaping his lips every now and then. Craig wondered why he was always like this, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea to ask.

"You know," began Craig, "we're not so different surprisingly."

"H-How so?" Tweek asked, without looking up.

"Considering you knew about Clyde and the fact that you said you observe other people, I think we both try to figure out what's going on with people, even if they're not willing to share," Craig explained.

"Yeah," he agreed, his hands remaining still. "I g-guess you're right."

"Except, you seem to do it for empathetic reasons and that's not at all why I do it," noted Craig with a bitter laugh.

"Bl-Blackmail," mumbled Tweek.

"Yeah." He didn't know why, but a feeling of shame started to wash over him. That was very unlike Craig; he was usually proud of what he did, but at this moment, he felt almost regretful. Perhaps it was from comparing himself - a narcissistic, uncaring, selfish douchebag - to someone like Tweek, who was sympathetic and seemed to genuinely want to help people.

Right then, he almost wanted to take everything back. Maybe taking back every threat, any pain, or any ounce of worry he had ever caused anyone would stop the shame. But that didn't make sense. Craig never regretted anything, especially not learning something about someone that he could use to his advantage.

What the hell was happening to him? What was Tweek doing to him?

Up until this moment, he had seen everyone in this town as fake, gluttonous, deserving of whatever was coming their way. But not Tweek. He was different, but why was he different? Was it because he seemed to unconditionally care about everyone else? And what did that even feel like to have so much empathy over everyone?

"Tweek."

The blonde looked up at him. "Y-Yeah?"

"I, uh..." He could feel his heart pounding quickly in his chest and it seemed as though all the cold air around him was now boiling. His face felt hot and tugged off his signature hat, balling it up in his grip. His other hand ran through his jet-black hair and though he didn't usually admit defeat, something in his mind told him that this time, he had to. "I think you might be right. You know, about me needing to change."

"Really?" Tweek squeaked, eyes wide and eyebrows raised.

"Um, yeah," Craig replied awkwardly, staring down Stripe, who was nestled in between the two boys' feet. "I mean, I don't know if I can change... but I think maybe I can try."

"Th-That's great!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah. So, will you help me?" he asked.

"Of c-course, Craig."

Craig heaved a small sigh and looked up at the icy pond in front of them. This was definitely going to be hard.

***

Hey, guys. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. This story's almost at 100 votes, which is absolutely crazy to me. So, thank you to everyone that has voted (and commented) so far. Though it sounds cliche, it means a lot. As always, any criticism or opinions of this so far are much appreciated.

Thanks for reading!