"Moe we can talk about it on the way home." He whispered "I'll explain everything I swear, just not here. It's nothing terrible." He said. He bit the side of his lip, a sure sign he was lying, but I ignored it and nodded anyway. He seemed like he was in no shape to talk anyway. We slipped in his car and rode all the way home in a tense silence. I felt like I should say something to make him feel better but nothing was coming to mind. We pulled into the driveway and he watched me pull myself out of his car as if I would collapse in front of him. He should be worried about himself; he seemed more like the insane one than me right now. I went inside and sat on the couch and waited for him to join me. His face was serious as he sat stiffly next to me. I pulled my legs up to my chest and waited for the news. "She said you have a bad case of psychosis." He informed me glumly.
"Well what's the big deal we already assumed that? Isn't there a way to treat it or something?" I asked hopefully
"Moe" he said putting his hand on my shoulder looking into my eyes with his grey ones. Just with this small gesture I knew there was no real cure. "There are medications you can take and there a people you can see but..." Oh no a but "She said it would be best for your safety if you would stay in a facility trained to deal with your problem." My heart dropped.
"But..." I tried to form a sentence in my head that would make sense "But, it's not that bad." I sputtered.
"I know Moe. She said the final decision was up to us." He said quietly "I'm only considering it because you could hurt yourself otherwise."
"But it's only happened a couple time Lyle this is ridiculous!" I tried to convince him. "I'll be fine." I croaked. "I don't want to go. I *won't* go."
He smiled slightly at me "Why don't you sleep on it and if you still feel the same way tomorrow then you won't have to go." I was going to protest that I didn't need any more time but he interrupted "I'm gonna go call Mom and Dad. Why don't you go get ready for bed?" I nodded and numbly walked to my room. Why was he trying to get rid of me? I walked to my room and sat on my bed and stared at the green walls. This wasn't happening, not to me. I couldn't deny it Lyle was right, I would end up hurting myself if I stayed here. My phone started buzzing on my dresser and I walked to it like a zombie.
"Hello?" It didn't sound like my voice.
"Moe?" I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Sean?" I asked just to make sure it was him.
"What's wrong?" Jeeze where do I start?
"Can you come over?" I squeaked desperate to be in his arms.
"Yeah give me 10 minutes." I heard him shuffling around and then I heard his hand cover the receiver. I heard a door close and a car start a moment later.
"Sean? You're not going to drive with a phone in your hand. You hang up this instant." I said fearing for his life.
"You underestimate me too much." He whined sounding slightly relieved. "I'll see you in a minute. Bye Moe." he whispered.
"Bye." I said and hung up. Now all I had to do was kill 10 minutes till he got here. I decided it was a good idea to change into my pajamas after all. I changed into a pair of blue silky shorts and a gray tank top and crawled under the covers. I rocked myself back and forth just waiting for the knock on my door I was desperate to hear. How do you tell your boyfriend that you're insane? What if he ran out the door screaming and never came back? I was begging to feel nauseas with as the reality of my position began to leak its way into my head.
There was a knock on my door just before I hit breaking point. I looked up at a Sean who was blurred through my tears. "It's raining cats and dogs out there." He said shaking water from his hair. He twirled the hem of his shirt around his finger nervously and smiled shyly from the door.
His Million Watt Smile: Part 9
Start from the beginning
