Breaking Through Limits (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 24

The next three weeks were the hardest Harry had ever had to endure. He and Tomlinson were heroes. The entire Academy was in an uproar about their miraculous performance. Everywhere he went, people dispatched at great expense to get exclusive interviews with the two young men who had saved the planet from certain destruction. The tension peaked when it was somehow leaked that the Fleet would have been too late if Tomlinson and Harry had followed orders and waited for them. Apparently the Saudebers had dropped several dozen squadrons on the far side of Mars, effectively cutting the Fleet off and keeping the professional Needlers from getting anywhere near where they need to be in order to stop the attack.

Through it all Harry had to pretend that he was modestly proud of what he and Tomlinson had accomplished when he actually felt as if he were dying inside. Tomlinson's family came up a few days before the graduation ceremonies were scheduled to be held and he got to meet Tara, his former partners' fiancée. She was a willowy brunette with cold, aristocratic features to match Tomlinson's own and she hung on his arm for an entire day, giving Harry dirty looks before she and Tomlinson's parents were moved to the guest quarters. Harry wanted to tell her that she had nothing to worry about -couldn't she tell that he and the other Needler were history? That every word they said to each other was cold and stilted and for the benefit of whomever else happened to be in the room watching? The whole thing made him feel sick -as though someone had shoved a ball of melted lead into his stomach and left it there to burn a hole to his heart.

But even seeing Tomlinson give his fiancée a cool goodbye kiss and watching the proprietary way Tara hugged him wasn't as bad as what happened later.

* * * * *

The day before graduation, the Admiral of the Fleet himself came to the Academy to meet them. He offered Tomlinson a commission of the highest order on the spot and told Harry that a similar spot would be waiting for him when he graduated. He even brought a new partner along for Tomlinson, a tall, handsome gunner named Paul Jorgensen with light brown hair and knowing hazel eyes. Jorgensen's own pilot had recently left the Fleet, leaving him stranded and in need of a new partner, the Admiral explained. And even though Tomlinson was fresh out of the Academy, he couldn't think of a better match for one of his best gunners.

I can think of a better match, Harry thought, watching as his former partner shook hands with his new gunner. He could tell by the look in Jorgensen's eyes, by the way he gave Tomlinson a frankly sexual appraisal as his hand lingered too long during the handshake that he wouldn't mind being topped by the dark, scarred pilot. Jorgensen wouldn't withhold himself in any way or accuse Tomlinson of taking what he didn't want to give -no, he would give it freely. Hell, from the lascivious look in his eyes, he wouldn't have minded dropping to his knees and blowing his new pilot on the spot, Harry thought sourly. He tried to stop the jealousy that gnawed at his soul like a rat but it was impossible and the flow of bitter thoughts continued.

Nothing latent about him, his mind pointed out as he stared at Jorgensen. It was obvious that the new gunner was secure in his masculinity and his sexuality at the same time -the complete opposite of Harry. He wouldn't care if anyone said he was gay or called him a faggot. He probably didn't have a girlfriend waiting at home whom he was no longer attracted to. And he wouldn't throw himself wholeheartedly into a relationship with another man and tell the world to go fuck itself if they didn't like it.