a new start (Jaegan)

chapter 10

raegans pov:

i wake up to the smell of pancakes and justin not in bed. i put on a hoodie and some shorts and then make my way downstairs. i see justin sitting at the table and his dad flipping pancakes. i wrap my arms around justin's shoulders and he turns around.

"good morning baby" he says while smiling.

"justin, i could hear sounds and the bed shaking all the way downstairs yesterday. is it haunted or something?" justin's dad says to us while laughing.

my face turns bright red.

"i'm not sure what you are talking about, mr blake" i reply innocently.

he turns around and laughs while shaking his head. justin and i eat and then head upstairs to get ready. we decide to take a walk outside because it was nice.

"thank you for last night" he says while grabbing my hand.

"the pleasure is all mine" i say while giving my hand a squeeze.

up ahead i see my friends playing basketball outside. i immediately drop justin's hand and walk over to my friends

"raegan what's up dude!" he asks while giving me a bro hug (hehe)

"not much, just visiting home ya know" i reply.

"i see you are still hanging out with this loser" he says while laughing.

"he came home to see his parents so i just gave him a ride or somethin like that" i reply, cooley.

"hm. are y'all like dating" he smirks

"ew no. i'm into girls dude. why would i date him?" i look at justin like he's a piece of trash.

why am i doing this? i look into justin's eyes and he goes into shock. as fast as he can, he dashes down the street back home.

"i should probably go see my parents now but nice seeing you bro!"

"ya alright man" he reply's

i turn around and start towards justin's house. i'm such a fucking dumbass. i don't know why i fucking cared so much. do i really want to be with justin? i mean he's cool and all but i don't want to be judged. i run the last few steps into his house and walk upstairs.

"justin?" i call.

i hear sobs coming from the bathroom. i try to open the door but it is locked. frantically, i search for a bobby pin. after looking for one in justin's sisters room i find one. i pick the lock and see justin sitting on the floor with a blade in his hands. i melt onto the ground next to him. i made him do this. his wrist has a few cuts on it and i grab a wash clothe.

"stop" he says while getting up.

"you need to clean it justin" i reply while wetting the towel.

"i said stop" he said more sternly.

i obey and walk with him to his room.

"maybe we should just be friends or something" justin says while avoiding eye contact with me.

i don't know why i thought i didn't want to be with him. those words stung a lot more then they should've. if i didn't want him then i wouldn't be hurting so bad right now.

he looks up at me and makes eye contact with hurt in his eyes. now it's my turn to cry.