It looked exactly like all the other love letters he received daily. There was an excessive amount of pink, all the j's and i's were dotted with hearts, and there was even a lipstick stain on the front. Sealed with a kiss, he thought, with a barely suppressed shudder. Those letters were always the worst.
But the contents of this particular letter were decidedly not those of a usual confession.
Dear Cocky, Arrogant Jerk/ Irritating Bastard/ Collin
I realize seeing all the pink and hearts must have made you jump to the obvious conclusion (assuming that you're not as stupid as you seem to be). Yes, this is in fact a love letter. It's also from me, Amelia Stein, no less.
And now your ego probably just grew ten times bigger. Great.
But this is supposed to be a love letter, right? So please, ignore those insults up there. It's just my instincts responding. Love is all about going against your instincts, though...
Since you're probably bored already, I'll cut to the chase.
I love you . I love you with all of my butt. I would say heart, but my butt's much bigger, you know?
(And besides, an absolute jerk like you doesn't deserve my heart. If you actually thought I fell for you, you're an even bigger fool than I thought you were.)
Next time I see you, I'll be sure to tell you all this in person. Life is short and we should enjoy it with our loved ones. But since life is also terrifing and confusing, I'll probably shout it in some random foreign language.
Love (NOT),
Amelia
Collin chuckled sadastically as he crushed the letter in his fist.
Oh it was so on
YOU ARE READING
A Not-So-Lovely Love Letter
Short StoryOn an otherwise ordinary school day, Collin receives a... rather unusual love letter. It isn't filled with sappy mush about his looks and charms; it's actually slathered with scorn. Of course, he has to send one back Even if it's chock-full of insu...
