Dear, World

Dear World,

I cannot even begin to fathom what made me sit down at my desk at this time of night to write one simple letter.

A letter, of all things! I have two tests to study for, a debate to practice, and, probably most importantly, a bed sitting right behind me, welcoming me into the dream world with open arms.

And yet, here I am. It is 12:54 at night and I am writing a bloody letter for some online contest that I have no chance of winning. And I don't know why.

I guess I'll tell you the one thing I do know, then.

I know that these times, the obscure hours of the night when I am too awake to fall asleep and too restless to stay in bed, are my sanctuary, my refuge. As a teenager, my life is constantly changing. Everything is in motion, moving too fast to keep up with, and yet we are expected now to decide where to stop. It's a blind ride; the stops and starts can leave you dizzier than a drunken ballerina.

So yes, these hours, when the night and day share equal power over our world, are blessings. I'm not going to pretend I know the why, or lie and say that every dawn and dusk I suddenly have magical powers, because I don't. I am still no more mature than I had been four hours ago, nor more powerful, nor beautiful, nor brave. I don't sprout wings nor fly. I am still simply a lost teenage girl with serious direction challenges. I still don't know who I am.

What's different in these moments is that I don't need to know. I don't have that sudden urge to analyse my dreams or profile my introvertedness with online personality quizzes. In these moments, I just exist, and that is enough for me.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that I don't need to know who I am, not just yet. I know my heart beats so I can breath. I know I breath to live, and I live to love, and I know I love to exist. I don't need to label myself, locking my prison cell doors with the keys in my own hands and no crime to be punished for. Why punish myself for not knowing the unknown?

Why shackle myself to one label when I can be anything I want without the chains? When I can just be?

Perhaps my answer will change in the morning. Perhaps the rising of the sun and the departure of these dusk hours will once again bring forth the book-loving introvert with a too-big heart and a too-loud mouth, all too ready to step into her cage.

But for now, that girl is gone. And it is this girl who will answer your question with one of her own.

Who am I, you ask?

Who am I not.

Love, Dana Day ( @Loony_Lovegood7 )