Fix You (Phan)

Fix You: Part 1

"When you try your best but you don't succeed."

-

Success. What was it you may ask? Well, the actual definition of success is: " the accomplishment of an aim or purpose." You know what I think success is? The ability to be able to victoriously achieve anything. You may think, "Isn't that the same thing?" Maybe. Maybe not. It's however you view it.

How can you fix something that's broken? Glue. An adhesive. 

What fills the gaps of emptiness? Cement. 

Where's Phil Lester's cement? Where's his adhesive? Did it even exist? Or is it just the preliminary?

Succes for Phil was as of now, non-existent. If the purpose of life won't hit Phil in the face with interrogatives and unbearable desires then was it a lackluster? The want but nothing was given. The need but it isn't there at times when in need. To feel but the closure was arriving too early and the mourn was unnecessary but was necessary. 

If he couldn't feel the meaning of life and bear witness of it, if he couldn't sit in silence with anything but his own mind yelling at him but no even that was silent. There was no yelling inside of his mind to occupy him and to drive him insane. There was nothing. Nothing at all. Was that unhealthy? Of course. 

Imagine having the complete polar opposite to you. Completely. There wasn't any detail that was the same but perhaps appearance but that was the only common factor. Imagine being the most stripped down individual with no thought process and could hypothetically count those with the complete cessation of brain function with yourself. 

Dan was the exact opposite. The exact. He had a perfect life, with perfect parents, with perfect scores, with perfect attendance, with the perfect manners, with the perfect attitude, and with the perfect everything. Everything was p e r f e c t. There wasn't a bone in his body that wasn't perfect. His own appearance was also perfect.

Words couldn't describe how wonderful one's life could be and how terrible one's life could be. It was all juxtaposed. 

Of course, Dan would wake up to a well-prepared breakfast from his own mother who gave him the biggest grin that could satisfy the needs of anyone in the morning. 

Phil didn't need to wake up as he already was as awake as an owl in the dark. His morning began with him tearing himself away from his bed and crawling on to the ground with broken fingertips and damaged abdomens. He blames himself for this but it wasn't his fault. Phil was aware of this but didn't ever pass up the chance to not blame himself. After making his way in a nonexcessive way down the spiraling staircase, he was only then greeted by the face of his fragile matriarch. 

Meanwhile, in Dan's agenda, he had scheduled to see the principal about the tolerance of bullying he had witnessed a day prior where the bearings of the boy were destroyed to the ground and leaving him under the darkness of the world. Dan's heart ached to see such destruction taking place in a world such as this but Dan was too oblivious to notice that the world was exactly like that. The whole Howell family were too stuck inside their own generosity that the slightest insult shocked them all. 

Phil had decided to let his mother rest upon the couch and sprawled a blanket over her before giving a quick kiss on her forehead and headed towards the kitchen to grab the most decent and appetising food they had which ended up being a leftover apple from the apple pies from the previous day. Phil was fully aware of many things such as he knew they were certainly not poor as his mother was a doctor and his father worked at the cafe majority of the time but he barely had time to see his father's physiognomy due to the fact that he was consistently busy and unaware of his own schedule he wrapped himself around.