"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Nein."
"Ja."
"NO!"
"YES!"
"No."
"Sí."
"I can go on forever."
"So can I, Phil."
Phil and I had been discussing Phil's love life, as weird as it sounds.
Phil had come over to my house and I made sure to make an - okay, I'll admit it was unnecessary and childish of me to do so, but I don't care - obnoxious and grand, thorough explanation to Joe that Phil was just a friend from school and that we would be hanging out in the living room where he could clearly see us.
I was sure he would pass the message to Mom.
Phil didn't question anything about it, which I was thankful for, but I didn't miss the questioning look he sent me afterwards.
We were both talking about who we liked (you know, in that way) and while Phil encouraged me that Dylan was only shy and worried about possible rejection, I encouraged Phil to ask out Justine.
It was too obvious that Phil completely opposed the idea.
"Come on, just hike up your skirt and ask her out!" I exclaimed from my spot on the carpeted floor of the living room. We both sat criss-cross apple sauce across from each other, and had a bowl of chips and popcorn between us along with candy bars and root beer for him, and iced tea for me.
"It's not that easy, Chris!" Phil cried, "the reason that I don't want to ask Justine out is probably the exact reason why Dylan hasn't asked you out yet!"
"Ugh," I muttered, "why do things have to be complicated?"
"Maybe they're simple and we're making a mountain out of a mole hill," Phil mumbled.
"Mole hills are pretty big though," I argued.
"Not at big as mountains though."
"Obviously."
"Then what's your point?"
"That just because it's a mole hill doesn't mean it's any less of a bump in the ground!"
"What in the even hecking?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Oh my God, it was a metaphor!" I exclaimed, "Just because a problem isn't as big as others doesn't make it any less of a problem."
Phil stared at me for a moment. "That's deeper than my love for Chinese food," he finally said.
I cracked a smile, "Thank you. I can be philosophical when I want to."
Phil had quickly become a friend to me. Like that type of friend you have over to vent and veg out and simply laugh with at the stupidest things. Usually it would be a girl that you would expect to do this, but Phil did it all.
I guess if you didn't know Phil and hung out with him, you would think he was gay with how friendly, chatty and how goofy he was, but he definitely wasn't. I even tried getting him to watch Magic Mike at first and he started swearing like crazy and proceeded to seek refuge in my bathroom and said he wouldn't talk to me until the DVD was out and thrown far away from him and I had put in A Few Good Men instead.
And then he talked my ear off about how hot Demi Moore was. Which then lead him to talking about Justine and how beautiful she was.
It was adorable listening to Phil talk about her; his adoration for her was heartwarming. There was no doubt that there was potential for love between Phil and Justine. But without any hint of whether Justine likes Phil, or not, Phil was just a lost boy hoping that rejection won't be by his side if he tries asking her out.
"I'll ask Justine out the day that Dylan asks you out," Phil bargained, shoving some popcorn into his mouth.
I raised an eyebrow, "You've gotta be pretty confident to think that Dylan will ask me out."
"Christine," Phil said, exasperated, "the guy obviously likes you. He looks at you with the perfect mix of admiration and lust; I know this."
"Alright, alright," I complied, raising my hands in mock surrender.
Phil grinned boyishly and stuck out his hand to shake, "Deal?"
I grinned back and shook his hand, "Deal."
