The Idiot

Saturday, January 7, 2023

Kneeling in front of me, she looked extremely scary. "We are not ever going to Chicago, Winter."

I looked into her brown eyes confused. "Why?" At this time, I was just turned eight, while Mom was twenty-four. In my entire memory of my mom, she was extremely young. Maybe that's because she had me when she was sixteen years old. She was going into her junior year when she found out that she was pregnant with some senior's kid.

"Because Winter, it's disgusting there. The whole place is terrible."

"But, she was talking about Lake Michigan and about..."

She stopped me before I could finish. "Winter, you're not listening. There is crime and garbage everywhere. Also, the Blackhawks that place their home."

"But I," I started again.

"WINTER, we are never stepping a foot in that city as long as I'm alive!"

Back at the table, the topic changed, and Jonathan and Anna seemed to not notice that I completely spaced out. I quickly finished my food before I put my plate in the sink and went to my temporary room.

Mom never lets me do anything I wanted. She was so protective of me, and it only got worse when she found out that I was allergic to some foods. I remember many years that I didn't like her, but we ended up being the closest.

I miss her so much! I never really saw her when she was alive, but it was better than this!

Tears quickly rolled down my cheeks without me really realizing it. This was the first time I was crying over her death. Everything after her wake and funeral happened too quickly that I didn't have a chance to really think about it.

The last time I saw her alive was Christmas day. In my life, I never received a purchased present from my mom. She could never afford one, but she would make each of us a present. We would always complain about getting these gifts, but now, I wish that I could have received this year's gift. Mom was too weak to do anything for us besides making us a card.

When I packed my last night in Brooklyn, I forgot the card there. Even without it, I still remember what it said. It wasn't much, but it was something that I don't get. "I love you, Winter. I feel like this coming year is going to be the best yet!" How will it be the best when I don't have her?

William has always been a traitor even when she was alive. He would always stand up for people that he never knew. He said that he was just being fair because we have no reason to hate them, but you don't need a reason if you think they are a bad person. Honestly, I met Patrick now, and I still agree with Mom.

I don't know how long I laid there crying, but by the time that I came back to reality, my head hurt. I wiped all of my tears off my face as I started to climb out of my bed. Before I could get up, however, there was a knock at my door.

Anna popped in with a sad smile. "What do you want to do today?"

I sat back down and shrugged. "I don't really want to do anything."

"Oh, come on! Jon is already gone, and it is only eleven."

I rolled my eyes at her with a smile. "Fine." This was so unlike me, but Anna reminds me a lot of my mom at this moment. She tries to include everyone and hates it when we just stay in the apartment. Even with these similarities, in many areas, she is nowhere near to the woman my mother was.

Soon, I got changed into regular clothes before Anna and I hit the town.

Even though Chicago is at a whole whopping six below, we still walked the streets. She was in some boots, a very plump looking gray coat, a red Blackhawk beanie, a Blackhawk scarf, and black woven gloves. Me, I had my hood up of my black winter coat. My hands were squashed in my pocket, and I was wearing basic blue tennis shoes.

Together, we ended up walking in a clothes store couple blocks away from her apartment. Many girls would say that it was a cute little store. Honestly, I was even impressed, but I knew that it was out of my price range.

"So, while Jonathan travels, you just spend all of his money?" I don't know what overcame me making me asked this, but it was a question that I had.

Anna looked at me like I just accused her of murder. "Winter, that's not how I am. Jonathan's and my bank accounts are not even connected. I am spending my own money that I made."

I shrugged her answer off as I walked away looking at the clothes. Anna seemed to do the same and joined me.

We were there for an hour, and Anna found some clothes for the both of us. To make her happy, I allowed her to buy me a nice sweater. I actually really liked it, and Anna loved it on me.

I don't know what it is about Anna that makes me relax and enjoy life.

We continued to walk down the streets and walking into a handful of little shops before we found our way back to her apartment. Quickly we brought our bags back to our rooms before we meet back out in the kitchen.

Anna started to make some spaghetti. The noodles are wheatless and eggless by the way. We got them as we shopped. As she cooked, I sat the bar doing my homework that I haven't started yet.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she poured the noodles into the pot of boiling water.

"Just filling out the map of the Middle East. Can't seem to find where Muscat is."

"Muscat? Mummm... Muscat. Isn't that the capital of Oman?"

I looked at the atlas that my teacher gave me. Sure, enough she was right. "How did you know that?"

She laughed at my response. "I don't know. Maybe because I'm a middle school social studies teacher." Her voice went slowly making it almost impossible for me not to laugh as well. If my brothers, friends, or Patrick saw me at this moment, they would think that I'm a completely different person. Maybe, I haven't been the best lately, but that's just who I am.

Anna helped me out filling the rest of it out as she finished cooking. We each grabbed a plate before we went into the living room and started to watch a scary movie, 'House of 1000 Corpse,' that Jonathan owned.

The movie was extremely scary, but we made it through just in time for the start of the second period of the Blackhawks game. And of course, we had to watch that. I smiled as a guy checked Patrick into the boards, but I wasn't rooting for either team. I really don't care for either the Chicago or Los Angeles teams, but it's a hockey game. I'll watch it anyways.

The two of us joked around watching the game until ten. That was when she decided to go to bed. I went to my guest room soon after.

Quickly, I changed back into my pajamas before I got under the covers. At this time, I decided to check my phone for the first time all day. I didn't get a single message. It didn't hurt that no one texted me, but I thought maybe somebody would try.

I plugged my phone in and turned off the lights before I laid down and fell asleep quickly.

"Winter, can you do me a favor?" my mom asked me as I sat next to her bed. I recognized the day very clearly. This was the last time I saw my mother alive, and the first time I saw her dead. "Can you try to get along with everyone?"

"No," I quickly said. She knows that I can't just get along with everyone. That's not how I work.

"Winter, please."

"NO MOM! I can't just go with the flow! That's not me!" I yelled at her. Every word that left my mouth, it looked like she was getting weaker and weaker.

"Hon...honey... soon you're go... going to be in a... in a situation that yo... you won't like," her voice grew shakily. She was withering away in front of my eyes. "Pl...please."

I got up without saying a word and stormed out of the room. I walked around the hospital for thirty minutes or so to calm myself before I showed back into her room.

She was very stiff and barely moving. Right as I touched her hand, the machine that kept track of her heartbeat went off in a deafening scream. When I heard that, I screamed and cried along with it.