Losing Him (A boyxboy romance)

Chapter 1

--Damion's POV--

Just another day up in the water tower with Jake, We live in a really rural area of Tennessee. Jake and I come up here almost every day. It’s our spot. No one comes up here except us. And a few girls Jake has brought. The nearest town was a few miles away and even that isn’t that big. We all go to school there though.  He showed me the water tower the first time I came over. Apparently he snuck up here whenever he was in trouble. It’s awesome up here you can see almost everything. When we were little we used to pretend we were pirates looking for the next ship to raid. Sometimes his parents let us spend the night up here. One time Jake fell off in his sleep and broke his arm. We weren’t allowed up here by ourselves until we were 11. Those were the good ole’ days. Before puberty hit and I fell in love with my best friend and he fell in love with boobs.

I really need to tell him. He needs to know. "Jake I need to tell you something," I'm so afraid maybe I shouldn't tell him. "What?" He said. "Never mind." He scowled at me. "You know, you've been doing that a lot lately. If you’re going to tell me tell me now or stop bringing it up." He's right, I've almost told him at least three times this week, if not more, and it's only Tuesday. "Come on man what's wrong? Is that Lindsey chick stalking you again?" I shuddered. Lindsey Burnbe followed me everywhere she could freshman year. "No, I'm just not sure on how you'll react."  I sighed, "Jake, I'm gay." Here it comes the names queer, fag, homo…..wait a minute is he?  “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING ASSHOLE?!?!”  He just kept laughing. He had the expression I was expecting him to have after I punched him square in the jaw.

“WHAT THE HELL DAMION!?”  Is he serious, “YOU WERE FUCKING LAUGHING, THIS IS SERIOUS!” He chuckled, “Damion you aren’t gay. If you were, you’d get hard one every time you saw me.” You are such an ass, “You always find a way to make it about you, don’t you.” What am I saying? Of course he does, “Damn straight, but seriously if you’re gay then what about all the girls you banged.” “I didn’t, the girls started those rumors.” There goes him worshiping the ground I walk on asking for my ways, “Dude you aren’t gay.” Great now he’s in denial,  “Yes, I am.” “Then prove it.” “How?” Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “Kiss Me.” FUCK, He said it. “I’m not going to kiss you.” “Kiss me or you aren’t gay.” 

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I can’t kiss him, he’s my best  friend. Oh, but I’ve wanted to for so long. “Come on man, you’re not serious.” “And you’re not gay.” FUCK!  I kissed him. Oh God, I don’t want to stop. I’ve wanted this forever. I’ve had a crush on him since seventh grade. What am I doing? He pulled away. Thank God. “WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!” Really? “You told me to kiss you,” idiot, “I’m gay and you can’t change that.” Will he finally understand? “You aren’t.” Nope, still in denial. “You’re in denial.” “My best friend ain’t a fag.” There it is. Bye Jake, I knew I would lose you when I told you. I started to leave but then he grabbed my arm. “I’m sorry man.” SORRY!? HE’S SORRY! YEAH RIGHT? HE HATES ME BECAUSE I’M GAY! “NO YOU’RE NOT! YOU KNOW WHY, BECAUSE YOU’RE A HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLE!” GOD I’M FUCKING PISSED. “I’m not homophobic. I was perfectly fine with John.”  DON’T BRING YOUR COUSIN INTO THIS. “That’s different he was your cousin, you had too like him.” He looked down. YEAH THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. “I’m sorry; it’s just a lot to take in” Yeah right. “Are you really?” “Yeah man. You’re gay who cares,” I’m still pissed but I don’t care. I rather be with him mad then not with him at all. “One question?” He’s going to asked who turned me gay so he can kick his ass. He is so predictable. “Nobody turned me gay. I have always been like this.” By the expression on his face I guess right. “That wasn’t my question.” He lied as well as he could. “Yeah sure, whatever you say.” He checked his phone. “OH SHIT JANE!” He got right up and ran to the ladder. I went after him. Oh God, what happened to Jane. “I’m supposed to watch her today.” Oh thank God. “Nice one.” He went down the ladder. I went after him. Then we started walking back.

“Damion, you’re not like in love with me right?” Yes, you’re my everything. “No, you’re not really my type.”  That caught me of guard I almost spoke the truth. “Oh, okay.”  He looked kind of mad when he said that. He’s thinking. I wonder what about. He looks determined. We got to his house then I got in my truck and left.

I hope I don’t lose him because of this.

--Jakes POV—

“Kiss me.” He looked like that was the worst possible thing I could have ever said to him. “Come on man, you’re not serious.” Oh yes I am. He just joking with me; I know it. He’s not going to kiss me.  ”And you’re not gay.” He can’t be gay. I’ve known him forever, and he hasn’t shown any signs of being gay. WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING?! WHY IS HE KISSING ME?! He can’t be gay. Shit, shit, shit, shit. I pulled away. “WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!” He’s not gay. “You told me to kiss you. I’m gay and you can’t change that.” Watch me, “You aren’t.” He can’t be, “You’re in denial.” No I’m not, “My best friend ain’t a fag.” He looked angry. Wrong choice of words? He started to turn. I grabbed his arm. “I’m sorry man.” Great, now I feel bad. “NO YOU’RE NOT! YOU KNOW WHY, BECAUSE YOU’RE A HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLE!” I’ve never seen him so mad before. “I’m not homophobic. I was perfectly fine with John.” “That’s different he was your cousin, you had too like him.” His dad didn’t think so. “I’m sorry; it’s just a lot to take in.” How can you be gay? “Are you really?” He sounded hurt. “Yeah man. You’re gay who cares,” I’m going to kill who ever turned you gay, “One question?” He sighed. “Nobody turned me gay. I have always been like this.” How the hell does he always know? “That wasn’t my question.” He chuckled, “Yeah sure, whatever you say.” I checked my phone I’m supposed to watch my cousin today at six. “OH SHIT JANE!” It’s 6:30. “What’s wrong with Jane?” I ran to the ladder. “I’m supposed to watch her today.” Mom is going to kill me. “Nice one.” I started down the ladder Damion came after me. We started walking back.

I wonder does Damion have a crush on me. “Damion, you’re not like in love with me right?” He looked surprised. “No, you’re not really my type.” What does he mean I’m not his type? I’m everyone’s type. Wait, why do I care? “Oh, okay.” How am I going to change him back? I’ll give him some magazines. I’ll show him my new movie. Private Tutor, yeah that’ll get him back. I will cure him of his gayness. When we got there Damion got in his truck and then left.

When I went inside Jane was on my laptop. “Hey Jane, what’s up.” She looked up then back down on the laptop. “You do realize you are forty-five minutes late. Somebody could have broken in and taken me or killed me. Then you would come here and find me here dead or missing.” As she said that she pretended7 to die on the couch. She watches too many crime dramas.  “Why do you need somebody to watch you anyways you’re 14.” She looked annoyed. “Because apparently with all I’ve been through the possibility of suicide is imminent.” She’s way too awesome to do anything like that. I don’t get what everyone is afraid of, and neither does she. She’s happy with her life and you can tell if you don’t pity over her about everything that has happened. “Whatcha doing?” She looked so excited to tell me. “I have found something new to obsess over. It’s called yaoi. It’s boy on boy romance. This one I just finished made me cry so much. His boyfriend died at the end. And this one I just started is awesome. It’s about a guy who found out his best friend is gay, and he’s trying to get him to be straight, but then-” “That’s cool, tell me how it ends,” I said as I walked into the kitchen. It’s weird how random stuff explains what going on with my life. I’m glad she found something to be happy about since her brother died last year. She has had such a hard life so far, it’s not fair. Her mom died giving birth to her. Her dad died in a car accident when she was seven. Since that happed she lived with John, her brother, who was 21 then. Then he died on a plane crash on his way to Chicago for a job interview. She’s only 14 it’s not fair to her. She’s a good student. She’s nice to everyone. She even fought for her brother when her dad kicked him out. John was gay. If he was alive he could have helped me on how to cope with what Damion told me today. Maybe she’s reading those stories to keep her brother with her. John was like an older brother to me. I’m an only child, or was now I’m the older brother to his little sister.

Around nine Jane went to sleep and I just laid in bed thinking. How am I not Damion’s type? I’m awesome, I’m hot, there is amazing that he can keep himself off me. What is his type? Why aren’t I his type? Somehow I finally fell asleep around mid-night.