Wowowowow, useless book!

Tired.

I stumbled through my front door, snow shooting in behind me. I shivered, and slammed the door shut behind me. Grabbing my keys, I jammed them into the lock and twisted it until I heard a click.

I slumped against the door, ripping my hat off and throwing it aside. I zipped down my giant winter coat, and shrugged it off, letting it slide down around me. I remained in this position for several seconds before managing to haul myself off the floor.

I hugged myself as I realised how cold my house was. Well, no. I couldn't feel it. The only reason I knew it was cold was because of the steam that was currently blowing out through my nose.
The steam swirled into the air, and it reminded me of fond memories as a child, pretending I was a dragon. I smiled, but barely.

As I made my way to the kitchen, I noticed how chapped my lips were. Was it because of the cold, or my lack of water? Probably both.

I reached the kitchen and continued into the utility to the boiler. I pressed the button for upstairs and downstairs heating, and sighed. The house seemed so much colder now than it used to be.

That being said, it was winter.

I felt myself slouching, and stood upright. I was slouching more often than I used to, and my friends constantly scolded me for it.

"Imagine all the back problems you'll have when you're older!"

I tried, pushing my shoulder back and straightening my spine when they ordered me to, but I always went back to my slouch. It just seemed more comfortable to me.

I flopped down on the sofa aimlessly, and lay there for a while. I let the silence and still air surround me as I closed my eyes. I knew it was useless to try and nap. I wouldn't wake up after, it was too late in the evening. Along with that, my mind was too active to possibly go to sleep now.

I opened my eyes, but left them shift out of focus. My mind was racing, and my head pounded. I pressed a hand against my chest to check my heart rate, but it was beating at a still pace. I was probably overthinking.

Though I can't stop anxiety. I can't stop myself from overthinking. That's impossible for me. My mind wants an answer, all the time, and won't be satisfied until I get an answer. I overthink to try and find a solution, but I know it's completely wrong, and impossible.

But there was only one question crossing my mind right now, and my mind was attempting to find an answer.

Why?

That's all I wanted to know. Nothing else. I would be happy then.

It was always a fear of mine, not knowing. Along with the mundane others, such as heights, deep water, and the dark. I was a wimp, I'll admit to that.

I sat upright, and looked around my sitting room. Even though this was my home, and I came in here pretty much every day, I still took in everything. I was always observant. I noticed things straight away. Any change would be spotted, like a difference in someone's hair colour, personality, or mannerisms.

I noticed some photos around the room. I shrugged and looked away, averting my focus to the TV that was currently turned off. I grabbed the remote and switched it on, hoping I could waste away a few hours on Netflix.

And that's exactly what I did, before falling asleep on the couch, like I had been doing for the past week.