This Empty Shell

The first and last chapter

(so the video/song sorta fits with this, but not really. It was the song I was listening to on repeat as I finished the last huge chunk of this story though)

OK, so this was first inspired by Judgement Boy's (on Youtube) two part Chara theory. THAT'S what get me started on this piece, my very first serious fanfic.

However, I also have to thank jacksepticeye on Youtube, and Davey (the creator of the Stanley Parable) and Coda, (the person whose games appear in Davey's game, The Beginner's Guide) for compelling me to finish this. The first was the inspiration, but the final three were the driving force. Seriously, either play it yourself, or watch jacksepticeye's (or any youtuber, really) gameplay of The Beginner's Guide, it emotionally moved me.

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Pain.

It all starts with pain.

First, the pain of being unloved and unwanted. It wasn't really your fault you were born, but your parents sure believed otherwise. And they certainly didn't care; not about if you ate enough or healthy enough, not about the bullying or name-calling. Nuisance. Freak. Loser. Monster. You've heard it all. You just wanted it all to go away, you wanted to just disappear. Because what was the point of existing if everybody only thought of you as nothing more than a burden?

Then it hit you.

Everybody knew the legend of the local mountain, Mt. Ebbot. All who climb it, never return. That monsters exist within it's shadows, laying in wait to eat misbehaving children. What better place to escape to, or even to start an escape, than the mountain where people disappear from? The exact thing that you wish to do? It seemed so simple; just climb.

So you did.

Oh, how glad you did. Tripping on the vines, you'd thought you were going to find happiness in death. And it really did seem like it when you came to, when such a caring, concerned-filled voice asked you if you were all right. No one in the village had ever spoken to you in such a manner. You'd actually thought you'd found heaven, with the angel that was Asriel bringing you to his equally caring and concerned parents. Who then began to slowly introduce you to their caring and loving citizens. Monsters. The name you've been called as an insult your whole life- it was a statement a fact here. It was not something to be ashamed of...

You finally found home.

Then, it's the pain of dying. Poisoning Goat Dad was an accident, but it did give you the idea on how you could help your newfound family and friends. It let you realize that there was actually a way that you could help; that there was a way you could be useful. After all, all that was needed to pass the barrier was for a boss monster SOUL to combine with a human SOUL. Yes, it was hard convincing Asriel to go along with your plan, his doubts and fear feeding your own, but you knew that it would be worth it. Deep down in your SOUL you knew that they were worth it.

Asgore. Toriel. Gerson. Asriel. They were so, so worth it. To you, a singular monster SOUL was worth more to you than all the human SOULs in the world... yours included.

It was these thoughts that helped you eat those cursed buttercups. They hurt, oh how they hurt, but you couldn't stop, not with all the monster's hopes and dreams riding on your shoulders. Even bedridden from the poison, delirious with the pain, you held true. It was you could do to smile at Asriel has he wept by your bedside. This was one of those few scenarios where Death could not come soon enough.

When next you awoke, you felt powerful. Like you and Asriel, because who else could give you such strength, could do anything. So under the guise of fulfilling your dying request to see the flowers of your village one last time, you both scoop up your dead body and walk out of the Underground. You two were attacked on sight once within the village, because humans just love to hate. You wanted to fight back, to hurt, to show them how pathetic they all really were.

But Asriel refused. His pure SOUL overpowered your own broken SOUL, and he took everything they threw at the both of you with a smile. And just walked away, walked all the way back home... without a single human SOUL to show for it. You two were barely able to hold on enough to make it to the throne room, to your parents, before knowing no more.

Finally, the pain of being unable to stop Frisk as they play with the lives of the monsters of the Underground. And you don't know WHY. At first, you thought they also loved the monsters... or maybe you just wanted them to. I mean, they went through all the hardship of freeing the monsters from the Underground for Pete's sake! They went a date with Papyrus, they got Undyne and Alphys together, helped the Amalgamates, they died again and again and again! So why?!? What's the point of letting them see the sun, for the first time in centuries, if they're only going to RESET again?!? Why do all of that... just to set it all back to zero?

At first, you'd really hoped they they did it because they couldn't stand the thought of leaving Asriel alone in the dark. To allow that emptiness to turn him into Flowey again. That they were DETERMINED as you once were to get that true "happy ending."

Or maybe they were curious? Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back, as the old saying went. Maybe they wanted to exhaust all possibilities before freeing everyone again? It not everyday that you gain total control over time, after all. B-besides, even if getting different endings depends on killing certain monsters and/or killing a specific amount of monster, it's all ok, because one RESET, and everyone's back, good as new. You could understand this temptation. You never liked this line of thought, but you could admit that it makes sense.

...but you knew better, didn't you? You just didn't want to admit it.

You didn't want to admit that you knew something was off from the start. Didn't want to admit that it was strange how anyone, let alone another child, could face death via psychotic buttercup monster with a face that may as well been cut from stone. Or how they not so much as accepted mo- Toriel as their mother, but rather... just let her lead them around. How they remained so netral when Toriel let them go in a manner that broke your own now-nonexistent heart. How they could come back from a LOAD from dying over and over again. Like it never happened.

They eventually exhausted every. Single. Possibility. They even accidentally repeated some, some slight variations in this "game" of theirs giving them the same "ending" as other runs did. And now they were killing everyone. This wasn't a Neutral Run, this was worse. They were actually stalking throughout every single zone, hunting down every individual monster that wanted nothing more than to live peacefully on the surface.

This was genocide.

And this was not OK. But you were going to do something about it. This Genocide Run was awful, but at least you know you could end it. With each death, you could feel something shifting, something growing, something breaking. As more and more Dust drifted in the breeze, you could feel the remnants of your very SOUL mutate due to this... this shell of a human, and their twisted actions. And with the that killing blow that ended Sans, who only wanted his brother back, something you could painfully relate to, DETERMINATION became WRATH.

So when they walked to the barrier once the king and Flowey were dealt with, and in the most barbaric of ways, they were stopped from reaching the end by you. They might have been the one who had killed nearly everyone, but you were the one with the power. For once, you were in control. And so, you gave them a choice. To erase everything with you, or to refuse.

They chose to destroy everything. No hesitation whatsoever. They... they really were awful.

And you're no better, since you did nothing to stop them. Couldn't even try to stop them until it was too late. Because in the end, neither you nor Frisk were monsters. No, you two were something worse; you two were humans. And humans are good for nothing but hurting, you think with a smile. You know this as the darkness within yourself flows outwards, devouring and erasing everything you have ever loved and hated.

Pain.

It all ends with pain.

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So here it is, my first well-written and published fanfic.

Please, tell me what you think, anything at all. I love feedback, and I would like to know what people think of this.