Andrew and Connor

Andrew and Connor (part 2)

 I close the journal and set it on the ground next to the couch. Turning over to look at Connor, I see his eyes are open. He smiles when I meet his gaze.

"Why are you still up?" he asks. The weight of everything that was swirling in my head comes crashing down, and I fall onto my bed, crying. His smile falters, but only for a moment. I never want to lose him. I never, ever want to lose him I think. Connor sits up and pulls me close to him, and lays down next to me. His arm wraps around my torso and pulls me even closer to him. I can feel his heartbeat.

We're both facing toward the couch, so I roll around so I'm facing him. He smells like fruit. I tell him. He laughs and kisses my nose, so quick and so soft but so good. Connor wraps my shirt that he's wearing around his thumb and dries my tears. His right hand lingers on my cheek, a sweet accompaniment to him grabbing my hand with his other hand under the blanket. We lace our fingers together.

"Are you ok?" he asks, almost whispering.

"Better, now that I have you." I whisper back. He smiles, and I let go of his hand to put it behind his neck and kiss him. And kiss him. And kiss him. He ruffles my hair with his hand and I jokingly slap his hand away.

We kiss for so long you'd think we were joined at the lips.

If only I was that lucky, but I eventually pull away. I really wouldn't mind: spending every waking hour with Connor. Never saying anything because words aren't enough to express the connection we have. So I kiss him again.

I can't help but stare at him. He's so gorgeous—the way his eyes sparkle when he smiles, the small scar on his chin from when he shaved the first time. The small mole under his bottom lip that I treat like a target, the way his resting face makes people think he's always happy, and so many more adorable little quirks and features I could recognize blindfolded.

He reaches out and brushes a tear from my eye, and my heart flutters. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my beating heart. If there's one thing I've done right, it's choosing Connor over anyone and everyone else. I remember the day he asked me out—we had been hanging out as friends all that summer, neither of us knowing we would eventually fall in love. The saying goes 'Ignorance is bliss', but that's not correct: I love knowing I can spend every day with Connor. That thought is bliss. At the beginning of July, in the summer of 2015, I had rode my bike to Connor's house. I thought it was going to be an ordinary day—playing video games in his room, walking to the dollar store to get lemonade and playing with his dog, Eli. We had gone up to his room, and he seemed really nervous. I had asked him what was wrong, and he had turned away from me, facing the window. 'What would you do if you like someone, but you're pretty sure they only think of you as a friend?' he had asked me. 'I would tell them. It's better to be honest than to bottle up your emotions.' I had said. A couple seconds later, I realized he had been talking about me when he went to the bathroom and handed me a note:

Andrew

I really don't know how to say this in person, so I'll give you this.

The thing is..I like you.

I still have the note in my room. On the third drawer down on the left side of my black, glossy desk. When he came back I had rushed over, grabbed his and and said 'I think I like you too.' and then we kissed. It was both of our first kisses, and it was awkward and sloppy and we turned our heads the same way so we bumped noses. Eventually, we figured it out and learned how to kiss properly, like we're doing right now.

6 Years Later

"Babe! Do you have the card and the present?" I shout to Connor from across the apartment. I'm holding Stefan in my arms, and he's surprisingly quiet today. Connor says he takes after him, which doesn't make sense because he doesn't even have Connor's genes.

Connor replies: "You know it! I wrote 'Dear Celia and Yogi, We always knew this day would come! Have a great wedding, and congrats!'" I can tell he's smiling.

I walk over, and hand Stefan to Connor so I can fix my tie, which had become loose in the commotion of me trying to find my speech. Celia's best friend from Elementary School, Lanka Ati, is the maid of honor, but I'm a bridesmaid and will be giving a speech after Lanka at the ceremony. 'Unconventional,' Connor had said when we got the invite a couple months ago. 'Talk about unconventional,' I had said, nodding at his Let's get one thing straight: I'm not! t-shirt.)

We ride the elevator down 7 floors, and leave the lobby of our apartment building. The doormen smile at us as we walk out the large metal doors. The valet already has the car waiting, and I hand the woman who's stepping out of the car a $20 bill. Connor puts Stefan in his carseat in the back, and straps him in. He opens the passenger door and sits down, smoothing out his tux.

When we get to the first stoplight, I turn to Connor and say "I'm so glad I married you." I lean in and kiss him. After a couple seconds, the light turns green.

"Eyes on the road," he whispers.